Drake's Son Adonis Released A Song That Will Make You Worry About The Children Of Our World

Cassy Athena. Shutterstock Images.

I grew up in a traditional household. When I was six years old, my father encouraged me to spread my wings and fly. But if I did something that might reflect poorly on our family, my dad made sure to quietly tuck it away and deal with me separately. Example: one time, at a barbecue, I used a fishing net to capture a baby duck as it paddled near the dock. I took the duck in my hands up to where the adults were, but my dad intercepted me. He made me take the duck back to the water and release it and admonished me for trying to bring a "wild thing" into our human world. We never spoke of it again. 

Adonis' recent song "My Man" is that duck. It is a wild thing that should stay away from the eyes and ears of man. There's really no way to justify it. The lyrics are broken, disjointed, nonsensical, and indicative of a subpar early childhood educational system. 

Take, for example, this lyric:

I will always, watchin' for you
This is the only one you want
You will watch yourself after
If you get them dirty, I don't know

He sounds like Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs. "You will watch yourself after?" After what, young man? Get what dirty, exactly? 

Many will say that Adonis is only six, it's all in good fun, let the boy make his silly songs. That is exactly the lack of structure that corrupts youth and sets young men ESPECIALLY on a course towards deviance and crime. We've been far too liberal with our next generation. We've coddled them, told them they're special, and let them get away with absolute murder. 

Well, I say shame on Drake. Clearly, he endorsed this bullshit. What loving father would allow something like this to be released for public consumption:

I don't fake it, I don't lick it
You don't want to eat a lollipop
I don't know who sells ice pops
I don't know who sells lollipops
I don't know who sells lollipops
Go ask to a cloud, I don't know
Go ask to a cloud, I don't know

Go ask to a cloud. 

Is this kid eating Rorschach tests for breakfast? And this whole lollipop/ice pop shit feels like he saw a kid get in to an unmarked van, but he knows that snitches get stitches. "I don't know who sells ice pops. I don't know who sells lollipops. Go ask to a cloud, I don't know." Alright Adonis, well played. Kid's a brick wall.  

"Don't talk to my man like that. I like it when you like it. My, my, my, my man. My, my, my, my man." 

That's the chorus. So many questions. Who is his man? And why, when you admonish us for speaking to him a certain way, do you then like it when we like it? If I enjoy speaking to your man that way, will you back off? Does that fly, Adonis? 

Last thing: should a six-year-old be lifting weights?

What about that whole "stunts your growth" concern? No chance this kid is fully developed. I don't care if they're free weights. He's got an adult spotter. That guy should know better. 

Second last thing: 

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Might be the worst floor spacing I've ever seen on a basketball court. All ten players are in a six-foot radius. Somewhere, Gregg Popovich is seething.