Reset The Counter: We Have A New Story Of Someone Allegedly Shitting Their Pants On A Plane And Sitting In It While It 'Spread Like Peanut Butter'

Robert Alexander. Getty Images.

How does this keep happening? There's a problem in this country and it's adults shitting their pants all over airplanes. Now, I apologize because I can't find a picture of said poop, but I think we can use words here instead. Here's the story: 

[Source] - According to the thread, the odiferous incident occurred while the anonymous Redditor and their 8-year-old daughter were on a connecting flight from Birmingham Alabama to Atlanta, Georgia en route to Key West, Florida.

Shortly after takeoff, the Redditor noticed a horrific odor wafting throughout the cabin, leading him to believe his kid had an accident.

It wasn’t until they landed that they discovered the appalling source of the stench: While deplaning, they reportedly saw a person 8 rows in front of them who had pooped all over the seat so the bottom and the back were completely “covered” in feces.

“This person had set in their s–t for a good hour and then departed into Atlanta airport covered in s–t,” exclaimed the poster. “Definitely a first for me.”

“Was waiting for someone to post this,” declared the alleged corroborator. “If so, I was on the same row, person was on the left aisle seat, we were at the right side (middle & window).

Okay, so we have the poster and someone apparently corroborating the story. That's enough for me. Why? Because people are animals on flights. There are no rules, society goes to hell the moment we get into an airport, let alone in the sky. Everyone forgets how to read or how lines work. It's mayhem everywhere. 

Now, as a parent, I love the first reaction just blaming your kid. Been there. First time I traveled alone with my oldest he shit his brains out during takeoff and had to go change him in the bathroom. Difference is he was under 2 years old, not a grown adult sitting in their shit. That's for sure the worst part of this all. What do you do? You gotta walk through an airport with people smelling you and seeing said peanut butter spread all over you. 

The only move I can think of is finding access to a lounge, paying whatever it takes to get in there, and bathing yourself off in the sink if there are no showers. You gotta find a shower though. Buy clothes from the airport if you have to. Who cares if it's some Wal-Mart looking shirt. We're talking about survival here. 

Speaking of survival, we need a class on basic flying rules. I'm not talking about not standing or clapping when the plane lands. I'm talking about not eating anything that will make you shit your pants before a flight. Play it safe. Play it smart. You can eat whatever you want and shit your brains out after you land. It wasn't even all that long of a flight. Not like you were going across country. 

Also, I'm sorry, but if I shit my pants I'm not getting out of that seat until nobody can see me. Especially if it's described as spreading like peanut butter. That's the grossest way to describe a shit. That's basically a baby blowout. Either that or you gotta be the first one off the plane and sprinting like the McAllister family though the airport. 

Long story short: stop shitting your pants on airplanes. There's a bathroom on the plane! Just use it.