Dumping Them Out: Ranking Countries by Size of...

John Rich1/22/2024 12:00 AM

Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out. Big weekend of NFL Playoff football. Unfortunately, I missed the majority of last night's game between the 49ers and Packers. I bought tickets to see my favorite comedian Nick Mullen perform stand up comedy. I'd never seen him live before. For my money he's a top 5 comedian in the game right now. I'd recommend everyone to go see him. But I'm gay and my dick is small, so take my recommendation with a grain of salt.

FYI today's Dumping Them Out GIF's will be heavy (no pun intended) butt focused.

Here's something I'm dealing with right now. A little peak behind the curtain if you will. In the backend of our system where we write our blogs, my spell check has just stopped working. I no longer get the little red lines underneath my mispelled words. I'm flying blind. Typing acoustic. I can't even write a mistake free blog when I have spell check. This is going to be a disaster.

Here are three bets I wish were available on sports books

NFL - Will anybody other than the starting quarterback take a snap this game? I'm not sure what those odds would look like. My best guess is it would be close to even money. I just love a bet that's never dead. It could happen at anytime of the game, no matter what the score. Could go the whole game with nobody else taking a snap, then on the last play they send in Jameis Winston to kneel the ball. I'd enjoy betting that.

NFL - Will a player wearing number 50-79 score a touchdown? This might be available for the Super Bowl. There's nothing more exciting than a big man touchdown. You'd be on the edge of your seat every time the ref announces that a lineman is eligable. It also gives you the possibility of a defensive player scoring, so you could cheer for the bet on both sides of the ball,.

College Basketball - Who will win the NIT? I know you can bet this once the tournament starts, but I want to put it in before the season. That would be hilarious to cheer for your team to be just barely bad enough to miss the NCAA tournament. You could make a fun pool out of of that in general. Say you and a group of buddies took turns drafting teams before the season starts. You all draft 8 teams, and whoever ends up with the most teams in the NIT at the end of the season wins the pool (if it's a tie, then whoever's team goes furthest is the winner, or some variation of that)

New subject. Here is an impromptu speed ranking of countries who women I think have the biggest breasts, according to criteria I'm making up on the fly. I'm not exactly sure how you would go about measuring this. It's not like women have to submit their boob size on the census. I suppose you'd have to look at a country's bra sales and see who is purchasing the biggest bras. I'm afraid I don't have that data available to me.

United States of America - The United States is one of the fattest countries. If were going by the sales of bra size metric, I'd have to think that would come into play. However, I did just look up "fattest country in the world", and it's not America. According to a NY Post article, the fattest country is an island in the Pacific called 'Nauru'. Wikipedia says 94.5% of Nauruvians are overweight or obest. Considering it's a small island, that would make Naura the hottest tropical vacation spot for fat people who want to enjoy the beach without feeling self-conscious.

Canada - I always assume anything that is true in America is 80% true in Canada. Just like us, Canada has plenty of heavyset people. They need to pack on the pounds to survive the harsh winters and stay warm inside ice arenas. I'm not sure why this "biggest breast size" ranking is turning into a "fattest people" ranking. They do sort of go hand in hand.

Switzerland - My ancestors are from Switzerland. I've never been there, but I'm under the impression that it's covered with rolling green hills and dairy cows. Dairy is huge in Switzerland. Milk, cheese, etc. I shouldn't have to explain to you how high dairy levels reflect larger breast sizes. That's common sense. According to my Google search, this is a GIF of a Swiss woman.

Brazil - We've all seen Brazilian soccer fans. Brazil is home to the Brazilian butt lift, and Brazilian vagina waxing. Those things don't have anything to do with breasts, but at the same time they kind of do.