The Apple Vision Pro Apparently Doesn't Play VR Porn, Which Seems Like The Biggest Mistake Ever
Gabe Ginsberg. Getty Images.NY Post- Apple’s much-heralded Vision Pro has left a segment of buyers disappointed after they discovered that the high-priced device will not play any VR porn. The Vision Pro prevents users from accessing the immersive explicit content, leading one frustrated user to dub it a “$3,500 chastity belt.”
An entire Reddit thread has already sprouted on the social media site and is dedicated to trying to skirt around the Vision Pro’s X-rated guardrails, according to 404 Media. “I am sure someone will eventually come out with an app that allows that, none are available at launch, and you can’t use the native web browser to access sites either,” the person wrote on Reddit. The same user who gave the virtual reality headset the nickname declared that “you can’t play NSFW [not safe for work] VR on Apple’s new product yet.”
The general consensus in the Reddit thread is that the Vision Pro will play “flat” videos from explicit websites like PornHub, but there’s no feature that plays pornographic footage as a 180-degree side-by-side video — a more immersive type of video that has different channels for the left and right eye. This 180-degree SBS style of filming is how most commercial VR videos are made.
I gotta admit, when I first saw the headline of this article saying that VR porn didn't work on the Apple Vision Pro, I thought it was a bunch of bullshit. I know there are exceptions, but I think we can all agree that the overwhelming majority of people that are willing to drop $3500 on a device that takes them to a different reality than the one they live in are usually seem like the type of people that aren't often bumping nasties in this reality. For those that don’t believe me, may I present to you Exhibit A:
Featured on Barstool
However, if a bunch of Redditors are saying that VR porn doesn't work on the Vision Pro, I have no choice but to believe them considering people that live on Reddit are the more savvy about tech and porn than I'll ever be, with the most hardcore of them touching boobs about as often as they touch grass. Which is to say not much.
Now I'm not saying most people would open up their brand new shiny Apple gadget and immediately try to virtually fuck someone before they even finished the setup. However I am saying after they finished the setup, tried out a virtual game or two, then maybe took a 4K tour in a really nice city they've never visited, they are DEFINITELY going to try to virtual fuck someone.
I get that Apple loves to be a tech version of Disney that is more PG than even PG-13. But not allowing the diehards in your fanbase that will shell out roughly four grand on a device to crack some stick while getting more up close and personal with their favorite porn star seems like a terrible idea considering sex sells and forever will (Source: Every Barstool NSFW blog immediately going to number 1 in the Trending tab on the homepage).
Because of all this, I have to hit Tim Apple with this classic Barstool soundbite.
Actually now that I think about it, every diehard Apple stan that is going to give Tim Apple thousands of dollars to buy this device even if they can't do what every warmblooded person will inevitably want to at some point when they try VR are going to get hit with this classic Barstool soundbite.