Here's My Top 5 Places That Give You The Best Beer Rush

Today is February 27th, and it's 65 degrees in Chicago. It's basically a summer day, and all I want to do is go to a rooftop bar and slug beers with the boys. The only problem is, it's Tuesday. 

As I sit here and fantasize about the euphoric feeling of an ice-cold beer touching my lips, I've compiled what I believe are the 5 best types of beers. Not by brand, but by moment. Allow me to explain:

5. Tailgate Beer

Brett Carlsen. Getty Images.

Lmfaooo (fuck you, Francis kissy face emoji, I'll always put lol or lmfao in my blogs, sorry I didn't go to Harvard, nerd) I couldn't pass up the opportunity to use this photo in a blog. 

Anyway, the tailgate beer. As someone born and raised attending Miami Dolphins tailgates, the tailgate beer holds a special place in my heart. The aura of hopping out of your car, inhaling the wonderful smells coming from everyone's grill, and cracking open your first beer of the day is something that not even Albert Einstein can explain. If you could bottle that feeling and make it a drug, it would be ecstasy.

4. Mid-work Day Beer

Couldn't have said it any better myself, Bert! The mid-work day beer is ELITE. Don't worry boss, I'm not getting hammered, but I'm not afraid to have a cold one with my lunch every now and then. What makes the mid-work beer so special, is that you know you're not supposed to do it, but you have no choice but to do it. Once your boy looks at you and says, "should we get a beer?" the answer is always going to be yes. As much as we think we have free will, we don't. 

3. Post-Yard Work Beer

I'll never forget this day as long as I live. I told my dad I wanted to take a break from college, and he said, "No problem, just get ready to go to work tomorrow morning." I replied, "What are you talking about, pops?" and he informed me that I would be getting up at 5 AM to do landscaping for one of his buddy's companies. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. It was, without a doubt, the most miserable workday of my entire life. Landscaping in a $20 pair of jeans in the middle of a South Florida summer was hell on Earth. I'm pretty sure I have permanent skin damage from the chafing that occurred that day. 

After moving logs and walking side to side like a penguin all day, I finally got home. I walked through the door, looked at my mom, and said, "I'm going back to school." She smiled and told me I had made the right choice, then handed me an ice-cold beer. As I unbuttoned my jeans and spread my legs so I could feel the AC blow against the enormous rash on the inside of my thigh, I took my first sip of the beer my mom gave me. 

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Let me tell you something… The feeling that ran through my body is what I'd imagine it'd feel like if Sydney Sweeney were naked in my bedroom. I'll never forget it. Truly one of the best beers of my life.

2. Boat Beer

Growing up in South Florida, the boat beer is one of a kind. Once you hit a certain age and your parents trust you enough to drive the boat, your life changes forever. It starts with taking out 2-3 of your boys, and before you know it, you've got 15 peng tings shaking ass on the boat. I don't know what it is about boats, but girls love to act up on them. 

But back to the beer. Being on a boat is like when a country wins a war to gain their independence. And what better way to celebrate freedom than with an ice-cold beer in the middle of the ocean with a bunch of your boys and a group of peng tengs. It's surreal.

1. Airport Beer

Termies, termies, termies! There's no better beer in the world than the termie! After enduring the discomfort of walking barefoot on the filthy airport floor, you retrieve your luggage, hastily put your shoes back on, and make a beeline for the nearest bar to order a beer - a tradition like no other. Similar to the boat beer, the airport beer is liberating. The stress of potentially missing your flight dissipates, and the anticipation of your vacation sets in. It's truly a unique experience.