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Psycho Shit: Harry Styles' Stalker Was Sentenced To Only 14 Weeks In Jail For Sending Him EIGHT THOUSAND HAND WRITTEN LETTERS In Less Than A Month

Cindy Ord. Getty Images.

BBC- A woman who stalked Harry Styles has been jailed and banned from seeing him perform. Myra Carvalho, 35, sent the singer 8,000 cards in less than a month, Harrow Crown Court was told. She was sentenced to 14 weeks' imprisonment after pleading guilty to a stalking charge on Tuesday. A restraining order lasting for 10 years was also imposed on Carvalho and she was told she could not attend any event where Styles was performing.

Brazilian national Carvalho sent the 30-year-old singer handwritten letters while in the UK as well as ordering a series of cards for him online which were sent to his address, the court had previously heard. Of the 8,000 cards sent, some were wedding cards and two of the letters were hand-delivered to Mr Styles' address, prosecutors had said.

She was also ordered not to contact Styles, directly or indirectly, and told not to enter an area of north-west London which was described in the court, a court official said.

I hear all the time about how the justice system is broken in America, but this story just revealed that we aren't the only one with a fractured judicial system. How in the fuck can someone send 8,000 handwritten notes in less than a month and get a prison sentence that is weeks long instead of decades? 

I know there is no law against putting pen to paper, stamp to envelope, and sending someone a handwritten note. In fact, getting a letter from someone is a wonderful treat these days and can still give you that rush you got as a little kid before the Digital Age. Occasionally my buddy and I will send each other a handful of baseball/football cards of players that have been linked to their fantasy team over the years along with a note that either includes a movie quote or a disparaging remark about one another (likely both).

Howevah, sending EIGHT THOUSAND handwritten notes is the clearest sign of pre crime I have ever seen, let alone sending that many in less than a month. Sending 8000 emails to someone over the course of their life is absurd. But putting in that much work with your hand as well as the time to come up with 8000 unique letters is the sign of a truly depraved individual. 

I wanted to tap out after writing dozens of Thank You letters to my closest friends and family members for the heartfelt gifts they brought to my wedding. I couldn't fathom doing that hundreds of times more let alone thousands to a complete stranger, no matter how obsessed I was.

Anybody who could do that is, in my humble opinion, not stable enough to be walking the streets after less than four months in the clink. Trust me, I know crazy too since I work with some of the craziest crazies God has ever place on the Earth. 

Which is why I think Ms. Carvahlo's sentence should be at least 100x longer since I don't see any other way to ensure she can become a reformed member of society. It's not like forcing her to write I Will Not Stalk Harry Styles every day on a chalkboard like Bart has to do on every intro of The Simpsons will force her to change her ways since her hand is apparently a machine that has never cramped.

Giphy Images.

In fact, I bet she wouldn't even have to pull the stunt where you just write each letter in the column instead of writing the sentence like every kid used to do back in the day (Mama Clem LOVED punishing me by writing what I did wrong. Joke's on her though because it planted the skills in me to become a writer for America's premiere smug blog) and would probably enjoy swimming in all those consonants and vowels in the name of Harry Styles.

So long story short, I hope the justice system thinks twice about its punishment here or else Harry Styles will have to spend the rest of his life with his head on a swivel worrying about when his stalking serial writer will strike next.