Welcome to Fuck Boy 101: Response Time

Welcome to Fuck Boy 101 

This isn’t me acting like I know more than the average man. This is simply me sharing everything that I’ve learned from the beautiful game we play. I’m tired of hearing my coworkers like Lucas and Connor Griffin getting ghosted. It makes my stomach turn. These two young men are world class. Women should be lining up at the opportunity to date them, and yet they’re getting ghosted. Why?

Simply because they’re not playing the game right. So I wrote this little lesson called Fuck Boy 101 to help them up their game.

Today's lesson is responding. From 6th-9th grade I was a grade-A simp and couldn’t sniff pussy if you put it in front of my face. The second a girl would text me I’d answer them within 10 seconds. If they didn’t answer me after 5 minutes I doubled texted. I always thought answering/blowing up their phone was a good thing because it showed that I cared and wanted to talk to them, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. You see, attention is like jerking off. If you do it every day it doesn’t hit the same. The nuts get smaller and the euphoria dies down. Same thing with attention. No guy wants the girl that he knows he can get at a snap of the finger. (editor's note: I didn't understand that sentence either but I left it in so we could all read it). Why? Because you know she’s always going to be there. There’s no grind, you don’t feel like you earned it, it feels like it was handed to you. Same thing with girls. They don’t want the simp that’s going to sit there and answer every text in .5 seconds. They want the guy who takes 2 hours to respond. Trust me, they want to ask their group chats “omg why hasn’t he answered me yet?” As sad as it is, the truth is, the person who cares less wins more. 

You take a girl out on a first date, wait 2-3 days to hit her up. As bad as you want to text her, don’t. The only thing you're going to do is type shit out, delete it and waste the leverage you have on small talk that leads to nothing. The silence will eat her alive and make her want you more than you want her. Fuck asking how her day was and telling her how pretty she looks, wait until she’s your girlfriend to do all that shit. I’m not the asshole, trust me, I miss being the simp that waits around holding his phone in his hand waiting for it to vibrate, but the truth is, that guy will never win. I didn’t write the rules, I just play the game. 

Editor's Note: You know how we have a gambling disclaimer? I feel we need a Nicky Smokes disclaimer too. But we're going to let him cook.