Frat Bro Heroes Protect American Flag Against "Commie Protestors," Raise $350,000 On GoFundMe To Throw A Rager
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Here's a heartwarming story of campus patriotism to start your day. Who do we call when our nation's universities are descending into lawless shantytowns under a banner of protest? Who is our last resort in these turbulent times? Why, the brothers of Pi Kappa Phi, of course!
NewsNation- Enduring insults, middle fingers and flying water bottles, about a dozen fraternity brothers stood their ground around the American flag at the University of North Carolina on Tuesday.
The standoff began when pro-Palestinian protestors raised the Palestinian flag on the pole. UNC Chancellor Lee Roberts, accompanied by police officers, took it down and re-hung the U.S. flag, which was flying at half-staff in honor of the law enforcement officers killed Monday in Charlotte.
When Roberts left and protesters tried again to take down the American flag, Rosenblum, some of his fraternity brothers and other students stepped in. They surrounded the flagpole, and kept the big flag from touching the ground. Rosenblum also held an Israeli flag.
Move over, Iwo Jima Memorial. That enduring image of the marines bravely raising the flag atop Mount Suribachi has been honored almost 80 years later, as a group of dudes wearing polo shirts purchased at the campus store, bearing the Tarheel logo, linked arms to ensure that our flag was still there. Christ, I don't even know why I'm trying to write this, for nothing I say will top the description written on the GoFundMe page that was set up to throw these dudes a party:
Commie losers across the country have invaded college campuses to make dumb demands of weak University Administrators.
Armored in Vineyard Vines and Patagonia, fueled by Zyn and White Claws, these triumphant Brohemians protected Old Glory from the unwashed Marxist horde -- laughing at their shrieks and wails and shielding the Stars & Stripes from Soviet missiles.
Unwashed Marxist horde… shielding the Stars & Stripes from Soviet missiles… Dave, find out who wrote this thing and offer them a goddamn job. That's some soaring prose right there.
As of publication, that GoFundMe has grown to $360,000. It says the goal is $350,000, which is a pretty large slush fund for a party. That's a wedding budget for an Indian daughter with major familial ties to government. We're talking major musical acts, unlimited kegs, bouncy castles, maybe a foam machine even! Hire a cleaning team even.
Notable donor Bill Ackman chipped in a casual $10,000:
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Call me crazy, but I can see this GoFundMe running up to a million dollars. No promises yet from Brendan Rosenblum on how they plan to spend the money. But if that pool of money is the proverbial fish that lets them eat for a day, the press from their heroism is the fishing lesson that will have them eating for a lifetime. For every single dude that stood around that flag, you can BET, will be coasting through interviews for every summer banking internship their office of career services can schedule.
Brings a tear to the eye. Today, we're all brothers of Pi Kappa Phi.