What Happened to Ball is Life? Chicago Office Has Lost it's Love for Basketball
I’m disappointed, to say the least. What happened to "ball is life"? Is everyone already tired of their brand new shiny toy? The turnout at last week's basketball run was embarrassing. We play every Friday at 2pm and last week was flat out embarrassing.
Every day you wake up is an opportunity to get better, and everyone who didn’t hoop last Friday got worse. It makes me sick to see our 6'6" power forward not hooping because he wants to hit the Griddy in a reindeer costume. Even our former basketball "coach," Ohio's Fake, didn't play because he didn't feel like it. What kind of loser mentality is that?
Tate's my guy, he's one of my favorite people in the office, but if he pulls some shit like that again, I will have no choice but to check his ass. My rule of thumb is simple: if you're in Chicago, completed your work duties, and aren't in a cast, you should be playing ball on Friday. All it takes is one bad apple to spoil the bunch. All it takes is that one sorry motherfucker talking about "oh, I can't play, I have a hangnail," and the rest follow. Next thing you know, we have an office full of baby back bitches who don't wanna get buckets. That injury shit is contagious, and I, for one, am not letting it spread in my place of work.
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I was getting a headcount for who's playing today, and after receiving a couple of no's, Hank goes, "it's summer, bro, no one wants to stay and hoop." Respectfully, shut up, Hank. I'm well aware it's the summer, but who gives a fuck? Maybe instead of promoting obesity and alcoholism, we promote getting off our asses and exercising. Ball starts at 2 and ends at 3:30, 4:00 at the latest. Most of the country is still at work for another hour. Please tell me what you're going to do on Friday from 2:00 to 3:30 that's better than balling with your bros. The Cubs game? Fuck out of here with that shit. The team sucks, and Wrigleyville is just a glorified music festival. You're not there for the ball; you're there for the birds, and you know it. All good, though. While you sit there and go through the motions, thinking life's all sunshine and rainbows, I'll be working on my craft.
Get Better or Get Left.