WATCH: Akon Singing "Locked Up" to Child Predator as He's Being Arrested

Who would have thought that catching pedophiles would turn into such a booming industry in 2024? I suppose Chris Hansen did. Chris Hansen and NBC saw the vision 20 years ago. They realized early on that there was nothing people wanted to see more than society's #1 villains be caught red-handed in the most humiliating way possible - in front of millions of people. 

But 2024 has truly become the year of the pedophile hunter. Pedophile hunting is big business. It's full-blown entertainment at this point. Everyday, somewhere on the internet, I come across a new viral video of a pathetic looking man wandering aimlessly around a retail store who gets run up on by a crew of vigilantes and brought to justice. Oftentimes there's an exciting foot chase that ensues. Sometimes the vigilantes beat the shit out of the guy. But no matter what happens, the viewer gets to enjoy violence and humiliation guilt free because the man who's life you're watching come to an end is a low-life pedophile who deserves every bit of it. In a country that's constantly divided, it's one thing everybody can agree on. Except for the pedophiles. 

It was only a matter of time before celebrities got involved. It was only a matter of time before a pedophile hunt ended with an Akon concert. That's just good content. Just watch as Akon serenades this man in his final moments of life as he knows it. I'm still not sure he has any idea that he was actually arrested. 

He must still be waiting to wake up. I mean, wouldn't you? I'm not gonna try to put myself in the shoes of a predator. But one moment he's going about his standard predatorial business, then in the blink-of-an-eye, Akon has his arm around you singing a #1 hit song while an indigenous African tribe wielding spears shout nonsense and dance circles around you. That doesn't seem like reality. And the predator seems to be thoroughly enjoying himself the whole time. It's almost as if he thought he won a prize. Which to be fair, in the moment, was probably just as likely to be happening as what was actually occurring.

This is the future of hunting predators. Soon enough these videos will be sponsored. "After a long day of hunting pedophile, I like to unwind with a refreshing made to chill Coors Light".

I imagine some people would say this isn't a good thing. That we shouldn't be making light, or commercializing something as fucked up and deranged as pedophilia. But I kind of think it's perfect. They say the death penalty isn't a deterrent. That the threat of death doesn't actually prevent people from committing crimes. But I think public humiliation is. Akon singing Locked Up as you're taken away in handcuffs... you're face being blasted out to millions and millions of people with the caption "CHILD PREDATOR". That's a fate far worse than death. 

They just HAVE to make sure they get the right guy. I'm not sure how often it happens, but when you're hunting predators, under no circumstances can you make a mistake. You better be 100% sure the man who's life you're about to ruin forever is the person who was messaging you as you were posing as a 13-year old girl online (which is another element of this whole thing that's a little suspect).

Great use of Akon guys. Great work bringing another predator to justice.

P.S. How long you think until Billy Football starts hunting predators? This seems extremely up his alley