Brandon Jacobs Said He Did A Line Of Cocaine Before A Game In High School Then Ran For 338 Yards And Four Touchdowns, Which Must Have Been HORRIFYING For The Kids That Had To Tackle Him
You know how they say the Cocaine Bear was the most dangerous apex predator on the entire planet for the brief time he was alive after snorting a full slalom worth of booger sugar? I feel like Cocaine Brandon Jacobs briefly wore that crown during that high school football game.
Of course plenty of football players have blown lines in their life. But how many of those football players turned into 6'4, 265 lb. running backs that were able to do this (turns on Greg Jennings voice) to one of the hardest hitting safeties in the game?
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While also having this type of quickness:
Speed:
And the will to set a tone in a big game:
Al Bundy had four touchdowns in one high school game and he wasn't near the specimen that Brandon Jacobs was, let alone Cocaine Brandon Jacobs. Which is why I think any of the young men that lined up across from Cocaine Brandon Jacobs on that fateful day deserved an extra sticker on their helmet for simply surviving and about 10 more for keeping him under 500 yards and a half dozen touchdowns. As for the ones that didn't survive tackling the coked up running back in a linebackers body, perhaps those stickers can go on their graves as the rest in peace.
Obligatory Lawrence Taylor Highlights For No Reason At All:
P.S. Derrick Henry's senior high school stats comp is Brandon Jacobs On Uncut Colombian Cocaine, which shows just how absurd Derrick Henry was/is.