PUKE: Morgan Wallen Walked Out To His Vegas Show With Mike Tyson And Tom Brady, Who Was Wearing A Raiders Hat

It’s sort of ironic that I began my 2nd half of my barstool career, writing, for the very same reason that made me gag. 

Back 4 years ago (holy shit), the Tom Brady and Patriot breakup none of us actually believed would happen, happened. 

Brady signed with Tampa Bay, the equivalent of your mom leaving your bread winning, little league coach, sitcom character father, and going slumming with some meth addict, roid head from Florida, who never wears sleeves, chews with his mouth open, and thinks bathing in axe body spray covers up his violent B.O. Oh, and he beats her up, 

Back then I didn’t have my own handle, so I was blogging under White Sox Dave’s name. (If I was an asshole I’d make a joke like “at least somebody was using it”, but Dave is the man and one of the only people around here who stepped up and encouraged me to write, and offered to help me. So I love him forever.)

I’m rambling here, but it’s because I want to curse the fuck out of TB12 for doing this tonight but I can’t. 

And not for the reasons one would think. 

Yes, obviously I get that pussy magnet Marc Davis is Brady’s best bud. That was before Tom was even single. Now that he’s single for the first time in 20 years and new to the dating scene, obviously a strategist and scholar like Brady is going to align himself with the king of clit, Mark Davis. 

Ethan Miller. Getty Images.

And yes, I’m fully aware of the rumors of him getting cut in on some equity in the franchise soon. He’s already a minority owner of the WNBA Las Vegas Aces, Davis’ pride and joy, so many suspect that that was a way for Brady to both dip his toe in the water with Davis, and also win him over. 

But I’d like to point out that we also heard the same whispers a few years ago about Brady being offered, and acquiring a stake in Stephen Ross’ Miami Dolphins.

Just because those rumors were floating around, didn’t mean we saw Brady rocking a hat with Snowflake on it did it?

No. 

And for all the know it alls yelling at me that he owns 7%. No. No he doesn’t. Per Ginger Satan nothing has been finalized yet. He owns as much as you or I. So get the fuck out of here. 

This is sacrilegious and I refuse to hear otherwise. 

What the fuck happened to this Tom? This was like 2 weeks ago man.

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And this when Belichick had them throw you some half assed schioddy halftime ceremony and you declared the same

Can’t be throwing those words around so strong and then tossing on enemy colors just because the situation presented itself. 

Everybody knows there’s no such thing as a “Las Vegas Raiders” fan. Sure there are LA and Oakland Raider fans that still hang on to allegiance because it’s their only distraction from back paid child support. But as far as actual Las Vegas residents go? They’re all transplants and already swear allegiance to other teams. 

So this was a weak attempt at trying to curry favor as they say by Tom. 

And I’m throwing the flag because this was fucked up. Clean it up Tom.