The Clippers New $2 Billion Arena Had Its Grand Opening Last Night! And It Sounds Like It Was A Complete Disaster!
ABC- The $2 billion Intuit Dome, which will be the new home of the NBA's Los Angeles Clippers, officially opened Thursday night as Grammy winner Bruno Mars performed the first of two concerts to inaugurate the venue. Mars was set to take the stage at 8 p.m. but the show began just before 10 p.m. after technical snags led to delays. Thousands of people were kept waiting outside, apparently due to a problem with the facial recognition system at the arena slowing down the entry process.
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Let's go live to Steve Ballmer to get his reaction of his $2 billion investment ruining someone's dad's birthday.
There is truly no sadder sight on the planet than an upset Steve Ballmer. While the architects of the Intuit Dome were busy figuring out how to build a halo scoreboard that has resolution so good our eyes can't comprehend it and t-shirt cannons that ensure even the Poors in the upper decks can get a freebie at a Clippers game, it appears they didn't plan out how to get people into the stadium in a timely fashion or even map out how to let them wait in a line for hours. Not great!
Nightmares like that is why stadiums usually do a soft launch before their respective major league sports teams play their first game. However, those soft launches aren't usually concerts starring the greatest performer the world has seen since Michael Jackson (in a good way) who just so happened to sweep the Grammys with his last solo album.
You shouldn't find out you have no signage for lines or that your elevators and escalators aren't working as thousands of fans wait anxiously to get into your arena while people like @TheLastGen are pointing out all your fuck ups with hardcore legalese on TikTok before an international superstar performs. I'll never forget when MetLife Stadium (which is the gold standard for modern day shitty stadiums) realized they had too many women's bathrooms for a venue whose primary events are routinely attended by mostly men, which led to a bunch of the Men's rooms there today being stalls with no urinals.
Sorry John, but your stadium STINKS and has stunk since Day 1 even if you don't account for the billion dollar price tag you got swindled for. Can't wait to see what happens there when you host the World Cup in two years!
Luckily it seems like Clippers fans won't have that problem.
Anyway, back to LA. Mr. Ballmer, if you are reading this, you should probably stress test your next billion dollar stadium with a C-Lister who is doing a concert for charity instead of a man that had the best Super Bowl Halftime show ever with moves like this.
Or maybe just open with a Clippers game where Kawhi has been ruled out beforehand since I'm sure that will temper everyone's expectations from the jump. Regardless, I truly can't wait to see this modern marvel in person because it looks fucking siiiiiick.
P.S. We got a fresh Bruno Mars track today with Lady Gaga. It's not quite Bruno's usual baby making material, but proceed to listen to it at your own discretion unless you want a new member of your family or you are snipped.