Juggalo's Rule: We Have a Frontrunner for Widow of The Year at The 24th Gathering of The Juggalo's

I've never fully taken the time to really dive deep into the world of the Juggalo's. They've always just been kind of there. You see the videos of them with their face painted like evil clowns, chugging industrial sized bottles of Faygo, beating the shit out of each other in most pits, and think, "Look at these fucking psychopaths." They're very scary presenting. But I know at the same time, they're big on loving and accepting everyone no matter who they are and not judging anybody. I believe when you peel back the layers a bit you'll find that the gathering of the Juggalo's is actually a pretty wholesome event. That's always been my understanding of the Juggalo's. 

And what better example of a nice wholesome woman enjoying an afternoon at the gathering than the woman in this video. If I die before my wife, I hope she does exactly this (not at a Juggalo's gathering, but whatever the equivalent of that is for me at the time of my death). Specifically, I hope she brings a large glass dildo full of me to a public event and goes viral in a video where she tells the world that this giant dildo is exactly how big my dick was. That's about as nice of a posthumous gift a man can ask for. If she wants to spread my ashes around the venue as well, that'd be great. But I'm mostly focused on the part where she gets it on the record that my dick was 10 inches and thick. And I guess I'd prefer if she wasn't wearing a shirt that implied I was constantly being pegged by her.

But that's just me. I'm willing to bet this particular Juggalo (RIP) is perfectly fine with everything his wife is doing for him today. I bet he's smiling down from heaven (or looking up from hell I'm not sure where Juggalo's would prefer), beaming with pride that his final resting place is a field in Thornville, Ohio where the likes of Bambam The Voodoo Chi7d, Flapjack Wilson, Dr. Giggles, and Nuclear Dysfunction once performed on the Ships of Fools stage at the 24th Gathering of The Juggalo's. To each their own. And I bet he's damn proud to be pegged by his wife.