Things That Fucking Suck: Deshaun Watson And The Cleveland Browns
Let me say this: I've seen watched every single Browns opener since they returned in 1999, and I can't ever recall feeling this embarrassed. We've had worse teams. Oh, we've had substantially worse teams. But we've never had the combination of a team that I truly felt could contend with an absolute stinker of an opener since.....well fuck, same thing happened in 2019 when we lost 43-13 to the Titans. But the thing everyone wanted to remind us then was it was with Baker Mayfield! Baker Mayfield stinks! He was the thing holding this team back. All we needed was a QB. All we needed was to trade three 1st round picks and guarantee $230,000,000 to Deshaun Watson to finally take us to the Super Bowl!
Fast forward into his 3rd season as QB1.....
Insert the "Well, fuck" Baker Mayfield gif here. Because although it shouldn't be my only takeaway from this game, and it certainly isn't, it's the one on the top of my list. I'm fully aware that our Offensive Line was a combination of Swiss cheese and a wet paper towel this afternoon, but anyone who thinks Deshaun was simply a prisoner of that doesn't know ball. The line sucks. Deshaun sucks. And the Browns suck. Don't take my word for it....listen to the great John Fanta rip this team to shreds.
It's a fucking disgrace. And it's not just Watson and the Offensive Line…..what happened to our Defense? Don't get me wrong I'm sure the Cowboys are good and all, but that group we trotted out there couldn't beat a fucking high school team today. And you wonder why I'm so over the top about the Buckeyes? IT'S ALL WE HAVE IN THIS STATE.
So where do we go from here? I guess the good news is that it's only one game and the Bengals and Ravens also lost in Week 1, meaning the Steelers are the only team in the AFC North with a victory. And our upcoming schedule isn't exactly murderer's row with the Jaguars, Giants, Raiders, and Commanders coming up. But I learned something from a very smart man once when he said I'm not in the business of believing in a bad football team because they have a soft schedule. Besides, what goes around will come around with that. Even if we can scratch out a few wins with this embarrassing bunch, what are we going to do when we play our divisional opponents? Or the Eagles? Or the Chiefs? I know I put on my Scarlet and Grey colored glasses when I talk about the Buckeyes, but I'm going to be real about this team. Deshaun Watson is on his very last leg with me. I'm afraid this team looked like a 5-12 bunch this afternoon. And I'll be writing my Top 5 QB Wish List tomorrow morning as I look ahead to the 2025 NFL Draft.