Danny Amendola's March Toward 'DWTS' Immortality Has Begun
And so it has begun. Danny Amendola's inexorable assault on post-football greatness has taken its first steps.
To be precise, they were Tango steps:
Now, to be perfectly honest, Amendola and the absolute rocket Dancing with the Stars partnered him up with Witney Carson, did not come in first. They finished behind Pretty Little Liars smokeshow Chandler Kinney:
… Dwight Howard, gymnast Stephen Nedoroscik (the reason my own graceful, balletic Irish Rose has us watching), and some guy that your girlfriend recognizes from being in that thing she told you she liked. And just ahead of Jenn Trann, who apparently got her heart broken on The Bachelorette:
I don't think there's anyone in America with a broad enough awareness of pop culture to recognize every competitor on this show. And as an Old, the ones I can identify without looking them up are the obligatory geriatrics they put in there every season. The ones where it borders on elder abuse. In this case, it's Eric Roberts and Sgt. Al Powell of the LAPD who helped John McClain stop Hans Gruber's crew from robbing Nakatomi Plaza. (I know he was the dad on Family Matters, too. But honestly, why would anyone remember him mostly from that?) But they're just DEI hires, brought in to get Boomers to tune in. Because when they fall asleep in their chairs, they still count as viewers.
Anyhoo … Amendola finishing fifth means less than nothing. If anything, this is how he's performed throughout his career. Week 1 is meaningless. His time to shine is when it gets right down to it. The last few weeks. That series finale when it's just him an a handful of other contestants. Playoff time. Like I said when he retired:
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In 13 career postseason games, all with the Patriots, his teams went 10-3. He caught 57 balls on 81 targets, a percentage of 70.4%, with 704 yards, six touchdowns and a yards per reception average that was almost 2.5 Y/R higher than his regular season career average.
But I say again, it wasn't about the numbers with Amendola. It was about the moments. Lots and lots of moments. …
None more famous that being on the pointy end of the javelin that Edelman threw him on a double pass to erase Baltimore's second 14-point lead in the 2014 Divisional round game. Which he followed up on a few weeks later in the 4th quarter against the Legion of Boom, turning a 10-point deficit into a 3-point game:
Then in the middle of the NFL's all time "Have to Have It" scenarios, with the Pats trying to come back from down 28-3 and left with positively zero margin for error, Brady looked to Amendola:
A few seasons later came perhaps his finest hour. Facing yet another 10-point 4th quarter deficit against an elite defense, he scored twice against Jacksonville in the AFC championship game:
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How is anyone going to be able to beat the man who achieved all this? Danny Playoffs is the very embodiment of the Clutch Gene. That same focus, determination, speed and footwork he brought to the field is going to translate perfectly to the dance floor. Nobody, not some former Disney star who's been dancing her whole life, not Howard, not some gold medal Olympian, is going to throw off his rhythm, timing and grace.
Sure, his ex Olivia Culpo might have rebounded with Christian McCaffery:
But he's currently sitting around getting treatment and disappointing the millions who took him first overall in their Fantasy drafts. Meanwhile Danny Playoffs is working on rebounding with the Mirror Ball Trophy. The highest honor you can bestow on someone who defeated a few famous people, some has-beens, and some D-list celebrities on prime time network television dance show. It's not quite on a par with winning two Super Bowl rings. But it'll do.