Jason Kelce Has A Small Pecker (His Words, Not Mine)
"My dick is low on the totem pole. I'm not impressing anybody or doing anything. If you wanna look at it, go for it. Be my guest. It's not gonna impress ya. It's efficient. It gets the job done".
Here's the thing--everything in life is relative. Compared to guys like you and me, Jason Kelce might look like he's got a baby arm coming down between his legs. But compared to some guys in the NFL (you know what type of guys I'm talking about), Jason Kelce might look like he's got a little Homer Simpson head poking out of the bush. It's funny how the world works like that. One day you could be in a room as the proud owner of the biggest hog in the joint, the next day you could have the tiniest pecker in the building. It's all about the ones you're surrounded by, and in an NFL locker room it would appear that Jason Kelce's dick is more of a role player than anything.
It's kind of crazy that a sports locker room is really one of the only places in life where you get to see where everyone's dick lines up. Personally I think it would be great knowledge to have in all facets of life. Doesn't matter if you're a professional football player or you're working in an office selling insurance. You should be able to know how big everyone's dick is around you. Think it not only builds character, but allows everyone to find their role. I bet Jason Kelce worked a little harder throughout his career because he knew what he was going up against, while some guys in the league may have fizzled out because they thought they already had everything they need. It's 2024, folks. We should all know each other's dick sizes by now.