Baby Wipe Companies Are Completely Shafting Parents (Without Lube) By How Difficult It Is To Take Wipes Out Of The Package
izzetugutmen. Getty Images.So the other week, social guy Chuck stumbled upon one of the biggest conspiracies going right now. It's one that very few people have talked about, but now it seems like the lid is about to blow.
First of all, congrats to Chuck on the sex and the birth of his son. That's awesome.
But second of all, this is a major issue that more people need to be talking about. Do you know how much baby wipes cost? In this economy? It's a shit ton. By the time you're doing buying diapers and formula and enough baby gates to completely locked down your entire house like it's Alcatraz, you've got nothing left. You're buying wipes in bulk, but somehow it seems like the supply can never keep up with the demand.
Sure, your baby is shitting constantly. But there's just no way that wipe companies haven't come up with an average number of wipes that babies go through in the time it takes you to go through a box of diapers. These companies have been around for decades at this point. They have it down to a science. But you blink your eyes and suddenly you're out of wipes again.
Then you realize that Chuck is right. This isn't any sort of oversight. This is a conscious decision being made by Big Wipe to force parents into constantly buying more wipes than they actually need. Because every time you go in to grab one wipe, you ultimately pull out 3 or 4. A pack of wipes that should have lasted you a couple of weeks is now spent in a matter of days.
And again, these companies know what they're doing. It's not like they have a bunch of dummies running the show. They are billion dollar companies who would have all the technological advances they need to make wipes easily come out one wipe at a time. Whether they're perforated or what, that's up to the nerds who are much smarter than me to figure out. But they have the ability to do it, they just choose not to. Why? Because why would they? Why not continue to completely fuck the parents raw and trap them into buying way more wipes than they actually need? As long as they continue to get away with it, nothing will change.
But we must be the change. It's time to say enough is enough. It's time to take back the baby wipe, and take back our power. I don't know what the answer is at the moment. Perhaps it's just unraveling and repackaging baby wipes ourselves so that they aren't all coming out together. But the moment we figure it out, we'll put the clamps on Big Baby Wipe for good until they do the right thing and change their ways.