Last Year's Deceased Strawberry Pop-Tart Rose From the Dead During This Year's Pop-Tarts Bowl

There is no greater sporting event on the face of the planet than the Pop-Tarts Bowl. We need to tell the Cotton Bowl to kick rocks and replace it as part of the College Football Playoff rotation with the love letter to college football and American culture that is the Pop-Tarts Bowl. Participating in this game should be the highest honor in the sport.

We thought we had seen Strawberry's final moments last year when he lowered himself into that giant toaster before being consumed by the Kansas State football team.

But alas, he has defeated the grave and returned to his rightful home. This football game has it all.

This is the greatest bowl game that has ever existed. All the defense contractors and lawnmower companies that pay a bunch of money to sponsor these bowl games should be doing everything in their power to hire away someone in charge over at the Pop-Tarts Bowl, because those guys are actually getting a return on their investment while simultaneously creating one of the world's best sporting events. Today's game is only halfway done and has already featured a pastry allegory of Jesus Christ, other Pop-Tarts tearing off their own wrappers and 56 points in the first half.

God bless college football.