"Don't Do Donuts on The Courthouse Lawn" – This 68-Year-Old Woman Got Drunk and Crushed SO MANY Donuts on The Courthouse Lawn

To be fair, the article I'm reading on FOX59 News says, "The Jennings County Sheriff's Office has arrested a 68-year-old woman they say was drunk..."

I don't see any hard evidence. Nobody showed me a breathalyzer. So perhaps we shouldn't rule out the possibility that this 68-year-old woman rocks that hard sober. I could never pull it off. Like most people, I can only rock drunk. Which is why I never rocked behind the wheel. 

Just to be clear: doing donuts = rocks. Doing donuts in the courthouse front lawn = super rocks (hell yeah, F the establishment, etc.). Drunk driving = doesn't rock. Drive sober or get pulled over. 

And fine, I guess it's pretty safe to say this particular 68-year-old woman was drunk. If she wound up behind bars and is being charged with operating a motor vehicle while intoxicated (along with numerous other charges), I'm gonna take Jennings County's word for it. 

I would love to know this woman's backstory. The original Facebook post chose not to identify the driver. Maybe she's a 68-year-old meth addict who's constantly having run-ins with the law, in which case her kids wouldn't have thought much of it. They might not even know it happened.

Conversely, imagine it's Generic Grandma #1. A nice, sweet, homemade-cookies-ass grandma with kids in their 40s. Grandkids in high school (or at least old enough to have real conversations with her). Then one day dad gets a call that his mother has been picked up for drunk driving. And the next day there's a viral video of Nana whipping her Impala on the courthouse front lawn. What an amazing revelation that would be. "Holy fucking shit... I can't believe Nana is metal." 

Receiving that news must have been an extra special roller coaster, because the minute you hear there's news about grandma, your mind immediately goes to the worst. I'm talkin' dead grandma. But to hear she simply did a bunch of sick donuts in the courthouse lawn after bingo... in a way, it was probably a relief. Grandma's not dead at all. She's more alive than ever.

Those were some professional looking donuts too. Whether Nana was shitfaced drunk or not, this wasn't her first rodeo. 

That walk with the cousins on Thanksgiving this year is going to be extra hilarious. Be safe out there, grandmas. Don't drink and drive.