The Broncos Are Losing Tonight And A Short Ramble On Writing Jokes Again
How much does a John El-weigh?
Just enough to be able to helicopter his body over 3 defenders in an iconic 8-yard scramble during Super Bowl XXXII on January 25, 1998, against the Green Bay Packers.
Kevin Reece. Getty Images.No? Is this thing on? Hello? Folks??
Giphy Images.This is my second year picking a Thursday night team to roast on Wake Up Barstool and it's been a great exercise in writing jokes for a topic I know next to nothing about. Every week I do a deep dive on a new team, hoping to uncover usable nuggets of info on the way down, and it's been enlightening. There's so many fun facts I'm able to spew at the bar now…
-Robin Williams was the NFL's first male cheerleader
-Lions coach Dan Campbell once put a cig out on Tony Romo
-Sam Darnold's grandfather was the Marlboro man and his name was DICK HAMMER???
I could go on and on but I'll spare you.
Some weeks I struggle to find punchlines & the whole thing feels brutal and embarrassing, and other weeks I feel optimistically confident that at least 70% of the puns made sense. Either way, the important thing is that I get to be on the television which finally makes my parents feel like I have a real job. Telling their friends at the 55+ community that they 'have a daughter on TV' is huge for street cred around those parts. Last time I was there a woman asked if I'd had the chance to work with Don Imus yet. (He was more of a radio guy and died in 2019.)
When I was in my 20s living in NYC, pre-Barstool, I did open mics every week all over the city. I was beyond horrible, but loved the whole process from sitting in the back corner of a bar scribbling my thoughts, to bombing on a bar-basement-mini-stage in front of an audience of only-other-comics-who-aren't-even-listening. After nearly a decade break, and feeling more than a little bit lost after having kids, it's fun to be writing jokes (or at least attempting to) again. Nick Turani & Mook have even gotten me up a few times at Zanies here in Chicago, and in the past Francis has encouraged me to get back into it, too. It's certainly a work in progress with more flops than hits, but it feels good to be a place where people root for ya regardless.
Anyway, here's some of the other ones from this year & last if you're bored to tears or stuck on a toilet or something:
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