Weird Wife Guy Dan Orlovsky Would Like You To Know His Wife HAS Smoked Before
Dan Orlovsky. All-time weird wife guy. Maybe the weirdest wife guy in the business. Just to be clear, I'm not saying his wife is weird. She might be. I mean... she did marry Dan Orlovsky. But what I'm trying to say is that Dan Orlovsky is a "wife guy" and he is "weird as shit".
I'm not exactly sure what makes a wife guy. It's kinda like how that one Supreme Court Justice defined porn. I can't define it, but I know it when I see it. I guess you just have to talk about your wife publicly a few times. Or even once, if done so notably. Like when Dan Orlovsky relayed a piece of advice from Jon Kitna about how married men should NEVER be one-on-one with a female.
That alone makes you a weird wife guy in my book. I like to imagine some poor woman approaching Dan Orlovsky for career advice, only for him to throw a drink in her face and bolt off in the other direction. Because I guess he's afraid he's going to fuck her or something.
But that gem Dan Orlovsky dropped last night might be even better. Where on earth did that come from, Dan? How is it that your mind goes there in such a situation? One more time for the people in the back. Just in case anybody forgot about your lovely wife's past transgressions.
His wife admitting to smoking a cigarette (or perhaps WEED?!) must eat him alive. He must go to sleep thinking about it every night. I bet a day doesn't go by where he doesn't bust her flaps about it. I'm surprised he's even still married to such a heathen. While Dan is out in the world stiff-arming lone women around every corner, his wife is having a drunk Camel Crush outside a bar 20 years ago. I'm surprised he's not already riddled with lung cancer from secondhand my-wife-smoked-a-cigarette-back-in-college.
Stay insane, Dan. I really enjoy it. I hope your family is well.
