In Case You Didn't Stay Up For The Second MNF Game, An Australian Writer With No NFL Knowledge Live Blogged The Game And Is A Must Read

So as most of you know, last night’s Vikings/Niners game was an absolute clusterfuck. Berman and Dilfer on the mic making awful jokes and yelling in our ears, sloppy play on the field, and a low scoring shitty game with penalties and a million commercials. It was one of those games you finish and immediately say to yourself, fuck that was a huge waste of time. Except for one thing. Last night was the debut of Jarryd Hayne, Australian Rugby legend who has converted over to the American game. So in celebration of the moment The Guardian, a big Australian newspaper, had one of their lead columnists live blog the game even though he knows basically nothing about American Football. You can read the whole recap HERE but below are some of the highlights. Hilarious to slowly realize some of the craziness of the NFL. What’s second nature to us is insanity to an outsider.

Top Stuff!

For such a violent sport it must be baffling for foreigners to understand how much we protect our quarterbacks at all costs.

Maybe the only person watching last night that didn’t sarcastically say “Oh Reggie Bush is injured again? What a shocker”. Probably genuinely concerned, little does he know Reggie Bush getting injured is no different than the leaves turning from green to brown.

He was not wrong on this one.

See?

Fair Catch can’t make much sense to anyone.

The genuine heartbreak. “He’s grassed it. Oh my”. Was fantastic.

So concerned.

He doesn’t understand why the game stops constantly, which is probably the most fair point of all time. It really is nuts when you think about how much we watch football and how much football we actually get to watch.

Starting to use Berman’s nicknames like we’ve agreed to them. Not good.

“He beats one! He beats…no, that’s all”. This guy’s stream of consciousness is absolute gold.

Another break. Top Stuff.

“Tomsula looks like he’s eaten an onion sandwich”

Again, not wrong.

Halftime, is that it? That’s it.

This is the point where Berman had made the “Big Bell Bottom” joke for the 10,000th time and I basically stopped watching and just followed along in the live blog.

Trying to understand the Vikings running a run pass option was awesome.

Disrespecting kickers, the universal language.

When Jerry Maguire is the basis for your football knowledge, well that’s going to be confusing.

Fabulous Phil Dawson is a great nickname, top stuff.

There are a lot of these.

Annnd game.

I hope Matt Cleary enjoyed his first full football game and I would like to send out a formal offer for him to live blog a MACtion game on a random Tuesday night. Match made in heaven.