There's A Strong Chance This Sex Calculator Estimating How Many Indirect Sex Partners You've Had Will Drive You Insane

Daily Mail – Experts today warned that though the average number of sexual partners is nine, it means you could have been ‘sexually exposed’ to almost four million people – if you didn’t use condoms.

Using their Sex Degrees of Separation calculator, LloydsPharmacy Online Doctor estimate those indirect sexual connections could total 3,917,918.

Sexual health experts told MailOnline though it is not a diagnostic tool, the calculator, which draws on the theory of six degrees of separation, is designed to outline the importance of people ensuring they have regular STI tests.

If you want to just go ahead and try the calculator for yourself first, go ahead and do it here.

Here’s an explanation from LloydsPharmacy of how the calculator works:

Our Sex Degrees calculator is based on the theory of “Six Degrees of Separation” – which is the sociological idea that we are all connected to each other by only six connections. Using this principle we take the number of partners you’ve had and what age they were when you last slept together, we multiply this by the number of partners they are statistically likely to have had, and by the partners of those partners, and the partners of those partners, (and so on) for six stages, or “degrees”, to estimate how many indirect partners you could have been exposed to sexually.

So it’s obviously very much an estimate but if you’re a guy or girl in a big city, odds are it’s not that far off of a projection unless most of your sex takes place at a convent or in an alley in exchange for cash. And honestly it’s pretty scary. I’m not going to share my rough estimate because I have to save some shred of dignity but the resulting indirect sexual partners number was in the tens of millions and that’s INSANE. Especially when we’ve all been with a girl or five who’s, ahem, lived a whole lot of life and who knows how high the exponents get. Definitely a viable reason to wrap your dick in bubble wrap and never leave the house again (or always make sure to use condoms but come on that’s sometimes so much to ask after a few Bulleits or a pinky swear).

Also this thought process definitely explains how the elderly end up passing STDs around at a much higher rate than the rest of society. You start throwing some genitals that have been aging in all sorts of orifices for 80 years like a fine wine around and these numbers must get astronomical, like when you start grinding around or do a Kickflip McTwist in Tony Hawk Pro Skater. I guess the science behind Mr Burns’ biology isn’t as rock solid for STDs as I’d have hoped:

(Group sex photo by Shutterstock)