"Uber Vegas Is Here" Is The Most Enjoyable Sentence I've Read In My Life

OH FUCK YEA. Never has something that is 3,000 miles away made me happier. There is no worse person on Earth than a scummy cab driver. I could have excluded the word “scummy” in that last sentence because by definition if you are a cab driver, you’re a scumbag. And at the top of Scumbag Mountain are Las Vegas cabbies. The worst people on the planet. They don’t even loan you some lipstick so you can look pretty before they bend you over and fuck you. Want to go from the airport to the Bellagio? Somehow you end up in California along the way. Want to go from the Rio to City Center? Next thing you know the Hoover Dam is appearing in the distance. Vegas cab drivers who are screaming on their blue tooths the entire time, taking you the worst possible route they can find without any accountability can get fucked. Cannot wait to see them do some sort of protest by jamming up traffic on the strip. That’ll show the people that you deserve their money! Why improve the product when you can try to fight a better product from taking your customers instead? So happy Uber is going to put the terrible cab drivers in Vegas onto the streets. Score one for the good guys.