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Hot Dogs Contain Human Meat. Whatever. - Daily Mail

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wpXI – Talk about mystery meat: A new report claims your hot dog or veggie dog may have an unintended “special ingredient” – human DNA. The veggie dog may have an unintended “special ingredient” – human DNA. Clear Food, a food-analysis company, recently examined 345 hot dogs and sausages. According to the report, the company found human DNA in 2 percent of the products tested. “Two-thirds of the human DNA samples were vegetarian samples,” the study adds. The report also notes that more than 14 percent of the samples, which came from 75 brands and 10 different retailers, “were problematic in some way.”  That’s not the only bad news. The report goes on to say that researchers found traces of meat in 10 percent of the “vegetarian” products. But all is not lost for frank fanatics. Clear Food gave a shout-out to the brands that fared best in their test, including Butterball, McCormick, Eckrich, Hebrew National and Gardein. Meanwhile, Oscar Mayer’s Premium Jumbo Beef Franks took the title of top dog, described as “high quality and good value in a high-visibility national brand.”

Listen if you take one look at a hot dog and you’re like “Yummm that looks like some delicious, 100%, pure, Grade A, American beef then you’re a fucking idiot. I didnt need this study to tell me hot dogs are fucking gross. I’ll be honest I didnt know there was human flesh up in those motherfuckers but now that I do know, it really doesnt surprise me. Like not shocking at all, one bit. Every hot dog you’ve ever eaten probably has some mashed up fingers of factory workers working at the Oscar Meyer assembly line. Thats just how it goes.

And FUCK any vegetarian trying to eat veggie hot dogs. Dont even know what the fuck that means but I know I dont like em. And I dont like asshole vegetarians trying to get the deliciousness of hot dogs. No bro. You became a vegetarian. You gave that up. You turned your back on dogs. You dont get to enjoy any form of a hot dog anymore. Fuck you.