This Girl Has An Interesting Challenge For Guys On Tinder Involving McDonalds And A Blowjob

Let’s ignore the possibility of this being a clever ruse to siphon McDonald’s cheeseburgers out of the innocent semen-filled men of Tinder. Even if she’s joking about the blow job, which I would assume she is, it’s always so outlandish how chicks think they can outeat a guy. At least half of the thin girls I’ve known always brag about how they house McDonald’s or Dominos or whatever unhealthy shit all the time and take down entire $30 orders and all that. Then when you eat with them it’s like two bites and they’re done but they SWEARRR they eat so much more otherwise. I don’t know why chicks are always so ashamed to be like “Yeah I don’t eat much and if I do it’s a normal non-American-sized portion.” Be yourself, ladies. Or prepare to give out a whole lot of cheesy blowjobs with a full stomach in the near future.

And so begins another week of the Barstool Tinder blog. If you haven’t yet, check out my guest hosting of KFC Radio and my first Rundown appearance, big week for branching out beyond girls trying to bone on an app. There’ll definitely be at least one more Tinder blog before 2016 so send me your screenshots on Twitter (my DMs are open for your confidentiality) and let’s go!

(via DC)

If you’re a stripper at Cheetahs and you don’t type like that, you’re the one doing it wrong (via DY)

Why don’t we all live in Sweden? This America thing has been great but you’ve got to make sacrifices (via HK)

You think Pres went tippy toes here or nah? (via TA)

I’ve been getting sent a lot of chicks who love Hitler lately, not really sure what to make of that. I guess people are right and everything does come back in style at some point (via JT)

This is just a witty and well done job by her (via AH)

Your competition for the week is just using chicks on Tinder for porn. Kinda scummy, kinda have to respect it when paired with those hot pepper emojis to indicate how spicy the Snapchats are (via KT)

Not trying to be rude but since she brought it up, if you’re worried about gaining weight maybe you shouldn’t be visibly dreaming of pizza all the time (via AP)

Come on. Stop. (via GM)

This girl has sort of a Chinatown handbag version of Intern Dana thing going (via RHB)

This one is going to end well I’m sure (via BB)

Reminder: In case you were concerned, Tinder girls do in fact still love butt stuff (via D)

This is such a CLASSIC biker threesome couple though I have to admit it’s nice of the guy to dress up for the occasion (via Heidi)

Chiving on so hard (via Fmc)

More than a few balls have been lost in that rough I’d wager (via BK)

The swipe right to actual date ratio for this lady must be absolutely outrageous (via LBM)

Not quite in the Karina Lemos tier but that’s a hell of a tiny dumper (via C)

Only if the blood of Christ isn’t involved (via IS)

I’ll be disappointed if she stole this from somewhere (via Tom)

I’d wager a whole lot that dude in the back has access to some tremendous drugs (via Fraturday)

This one’s really more of a PSA, this guy’s text seems like a pretty clever way to trick a chick you want to talk to into replying (via GC)

How the fuck did this lady convince two people to sign up for this already? Her persuasion skills must be one in a million (via Selfierob)

Alex should meet that last they/them (via DH)

They’re probably just being dumb college girls but if they were serious, would this technically be reverse polygamy? (via G)

Yeah but the course requirements for that minor are so shitty (via CMC)

This is one of those cases where I believe her, that is a sugar baby face if I’ve ever seen one (via J)

I’m not sure if this girl is sexy fit or if she’s jacked beyond belief and there may be Chyna-sized lady bits between those strong thighs. Curious either way (via ZD)

Berlin Tinder doing exactly what you expected out of Berlin Tinder (via TM)

Slutty life advice is the best life advice except when it’s from your mom (via AF)

Oddly enough that’s just a line in that Berenstain Bears book she’s holding (via DM)

There’s an obvious reason I’m posting this but I especially enjoyed the Super Like. Super Like for tits every time (via KP)

No wonder Pres’s horses keep losing, he needs a better driver (via BJB)

For as scuzzy as this may be, I respect this girl for leaning in on all the things that girls usually bitch about with guys (via NON)

The life of a girl so hot that she has to tell people she’s real must be so far beyond our wildest imaginations  (via K)

I’m not sure how this’ll go over but doesn’t this girl have really nice legs for someone in a wheelchair? (via DL)

Never forget that Pennsylvania rednecks hard too (via GB)

Here I fixed this girl’s profile photo:

Much better (via Dogtown)

This is now two weeks in a row where the reminders you’d swipe right on a tranny are getting all too real (via N)

Wait the girl in high school with a fake name and a baby looking for love on Tinder doesn’t have a future plan? No fucking way (via SK)

And onto the hot and NSFWish ones…

Do they ask for your cup size when you apply to FSU? The ratio of jugs to non-jugs is outlandish (via SG)

This is actually from the Bumble app but I figured we would keep an open mind (via KP)

I would like to take my support of our troops to the next level (via KP)

..maybe we should all spend more time on Bumble (via Fraturday)

I’ve said it before but man, no better move than the far away butt shot, two more pieces of proof above (via Starlord)

Indiana University of Pennsylvania is known for their hot girls*

*full disclosure: I’ve never heard of that school before and am not sure it actually exists  (via C)

Fair enough, the Chive goes 1/2 today (via C)

Pros: Mom tits could not be more impressive, that is a great photo. Cons: The growing human inside of her. Undecided: Malcolm X College?  (via LWL)

See? If you like Ruby Rose, this is who you’re associating with. I was right all along (via SG)

This week’s reminder you’d still turn your head upside down to see a hint of tranny areola (via DP)

To make it up for that, this week’s NSFW cherry on top is of one of my favorite humans who has done so much for my happiness and will never know. Hope you all have awesome Christmases, Kwanzaas, Hanukkahs, etc, send me your screenshots on Twitter, and happy swiping!