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"Can You Pee With A Boner" And Other Important Questions Answered In This Edition Of P-hub Comments Of The Week

Phub-COTW-merica

If it’s Friday, it’s Top Pornhub Comments of the Week. A time of the week when we can all gather around and be thankful for the little things in life. Sure, we may not have all been able to pocket millions of dollars this week, but at least we’re not commenting on internet porn. And that in itself, my friends, is a major victory. So let’s get right to it and welcome back the freaks for the first time in 2016.

bear-claws
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Okay I just really enjoyed this exchange. Sue me.

cock-sauce
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“Glaze her face with his cock sauce” is just so profoundly poetic. Who said that first? Shakespeare? Hemingway?

dwarf-food
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I guess I never really thought about this before. Like every time a dwarf goes to eat, they’re constantly reminded that they’re a dwarf because the food must be so big to them. Do short people like chicken nuggets? I’d have to assume they do because chicken nuggets are fucking awesome but I never even thought to ask the question.

kobe
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Kobe and his Philly-abandoning ass can GTFO for all I care but…. MAMBA!

mia-khalifa
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Donald Trump / Mia Khalifa 2016.

party-orgy
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Every. Fucking. Time. Makes me sick.

piss-job
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I’ve always remembered my sex ed teacher telling us in middle school that you can’t pee when you have a boner for some reason. And every single day when I wake up to take my morning piss, I’m reminded that he was an absolute idiot. You can 100% take a piss when a erection (scientific term for a hard dick) and poor dankb8m8 had to find that out the hard way.

threesome
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I’d probably just be too nervous to know how to handle the situation and end up jerking off in the corner if I’m being completely honest with myself here.

whitney-cummings
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Not that this is a great comment or anything but I’d just like it to be known that Whitney Cummings, Natasha Leggero and Sarah Silverman all have the same type of appeal to me and I’d very much like to have intercourse with all of them. It’s not like they’re the hottest girls on the planet but you’re only playing yourself if you say that you wouldn’t. Here’s a little Friday afternoon MFK for ya.

whitney-cummingsnatasha-leggerosarah-silverman

barstool
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The fact that this comments has 69 likes is nothing short of miraculous. (h/t Zach)

And that wraps up this week in freaks. Thanks a lot for stopping by and hope you all enjoyed yourselves. As always, feel free to send any comments you come across to @BarstoolJordie on Twitter. Have yourselves a go this weekend and don’t forget to stay sexy out there.

Bonus Bizarro: Pornhub streamed an average of 75 GB of data per second and 4,392,486,580 hours of porn over the course of 2015. That’s 2.5 times longer than homo sapiens have been roaming the earth, as Pornhub notes – Read More Here