The People v. O.J. Simpson: Episode 1 Recap
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Wow, that was really good. Like REALLY, REALLY good. Granted, the entire show being based around a double murder is really messed up. But that was the OJ trial. Entertaining as hell while still being about some fucked up shit. And when you add in that #BlackTwitter will be following along with every episode, we have a match made in Internet heaven.
I am giddy that an entire generation of people get to meet Kato Kaelin for the first time. I think this says it all for our old friend Kato.
Kato was also giving out retweets as he set Twitter ablaze by firing off tweets every three seconds during the show. 2016 is The Year of Kato. I can feel it in my plums!
We learned that O.J. wasn’t exactly sure what the word “killed” means.
Next up we meet Marcia Clark, who apparently got the Lois Einhorn treatment from wardrobe.
If the entire OJ saga happened today, there is no doubt in my mind that multiple porn spoofs would be made using lookalikes from the trial. And some old porn star would have a late boom in her career a la Lisa Ann following Sarah Palin’s run at the Vice President position. And yes, I think Kato Kaelin would have played himself in this imaginary porn.
Anyway, it took 20 full minutes and a double murder before the true face of evil showed up. Robert Kardashian AKA the man that has spawned the Kardashian clan AKA Ross Gellar.
Okay, that was a bit harsh. But the fact that tweets like this still go out after your dad helped get a guy out of jail who just mayyyyy have killed those two people is pretty heartless.
Next up we meet Johnnie Cochran, who wasn’t in the episode very much, but was electric during his brief time on screen. Again, I was young during the O.J. case, but I remember when Johnnie Cochran got involved, the entertainment factor of the case got ratcheted up a few notches. So we should be seeing a lot about him in the coming episodes. And he will likely be shining in the comedic relief role.
I also forgot about Johnnie’s résumé. Mama mia. The who’s who of the 90s. He must have had more autographed black and white headshots in his house than a diner.
Also I’m no judge, but changing your story about the cut on your hand three times is not the best idea.
I wish we had a Ray Lewis Cam during this episode. Probably dressed to the nines with an awful hat on his head thinking “I should have used the I Golf A Lot” defense.
One thing I really liked was how everyone called O.J. “The Juice”. Even O.J. called himself The Juice. It’s like being friends with a Fitzpatrick, Sullivan or a Murphy. Those names are really Fitz, Sully, and Murph. I know a guy named O.J. and everyone (including his wife) call him Juice or The Juice. And now, despite all the bad publicity, I kiiiiind of wish my name was O.J. (Also O.J. yelling at Kalo makes me laugh every time).
We later get our first glimpse of Travolta, who is looking good. And by good I mean it looks like they resurrected Vincent Vegas from the bathroom floor and put a shitload of makeup on him. And he has the exact face of any L.A. lawyer that had his lunch disturbed at a five-star restaurant because he received a phone call.
O.J. did as good on the lie detector test as Vince Young did on the Wunderlic Test.
Hey guys. I think there’s a chance O.J. may have done it.
Shout out to FX for squeezing in a Kris, Kourtney and Khloe cameo for no real reason.
And this picture really gives legs to the “O.J. is Khloe’s father” rumor
But it’s all good because we got some Mrs. Coach! (And yes I will try to use this gif every time she appears on the show).
And the end of this scene chilled me to the bone.
But seeing Frank Sobotka with a terrible mustache made me feel a little better.
Episode Rating: A+. If it was on Netflix, I would have clicked Play Next Episode without waiting for the 10 second countdown to finish and the next episode to autoplay. Yeah, that good. I can’t wait for the next four episodes and probably would have binged them until I fell asleep if they were all available to stream.
Actually I guess I’m in no rush to watch the next episode. Because the White Bronco chase likely means Game 5 of the 1994 NBA Finals flashbacks which means Game 6 and 7 of the 1994 NBA Finals flashbacks which means I will be drinking heavily by 11 pm next Tuesday night as I think about how my life would be different if John Starks just hit a couple of extra baskets in Houston.
Also, I’m sure we’ll talk about this next week, but June 17, 1994 was UNBELIEVABLE. I mean they did an entire 30 For 30 on everything that happened that day. I can’t even imagine what Twitter would have been like. And sure Twitter still would have found a way to lose a few points off its stock by the time Wall Street closed for the day, but it would have been a lot of fun to see. (I am not sure why I can’t find a trailer for that 30 For 30, but this will have to do).