Chick Assaults Her Boyfriend Because He Didnt Get Her A Valentine's Day Gift - Daily Mail

KFC2/15/2016 7:30 PM

WASHINGTON COUNTY, Ohio (WTAP) – For one Washington County couple, what should have been a day to celebrate love ends with one man battered and bruised. Around 11 AM Sunday, Deputies with the Washington County Sheriff’s Office responded to a home on School House Road in Belpre Township. They discovered an adult male with several injuries, including a large knot on his head. He claims his wife, 46-year-old Kimberly Hammond had been drinking, and that after a verbal altercation, she began to hit and scratch his face. He says she then grabbed a mini baseball bat and hit him in the back of the head, knocking him unconscious. She continued to attack him as he regained consciousness. The male declined medical treatment. When officials asked Kimberly Hammond about the incident, she said she was upset that her husband did not get her a gift for Valentine’s Day. She admitted to drinking and blew a .221 during a breathalyzer test at the Washington County Jail. She was arrested for felonious assault and domestic violence.

First thing’s first, beggars cant be choosers. And when you’re Kim Hammond, you are most definitely a beggar. She looks like she was plucked right from the original Planet of the Apes

And so I dont think shes in any position to be hitting any man thats willingly in a romantic relationship with a mini baseball bat. But lets ignore that for a moment, and lets discuss the second part of this story thats patently ridiculous. You cannot, under any circumstances, hit someone with a bat because they didnt get you a Valentines Day gift when its only 11am. There’s like 10 more acceptable hours before you can start to get mad he didnt get you anything. He might have a fancy dinner planned, he might be taking you out dancing. He might give you your gift while you eat chocolate covered strawberries and sip champagne.

Now in the case of Kim Hammond and her boyfriend, thats probably unlikely. Shes shitfaced at 11am and I have a suspicion that her man probably didnt call up The Bouqs and use promo code KFC. But Im just saying 11am is too early to pull some domestic violence on V Day.

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