I Still Can't Get Over This Kevin Hart Photo From The Oscars Red Carpet

I wasn’t going to blog this, but it keeps popping up in my mentions after I tweeted it last night, and every single time I laugh. It may be the most ridiculous picture ever taken. Kevin Hart is short, that’s not new information. But this photo, with this lady and this angle, makes him look like a fucking action figure. It’s unbelievable. If I was Kevin Hart I’d get to this interview, see the woman with the swimmer’s build, see the aerial camera, and tell everyone to go fuck themselves. No chance am I doing that interview.

And I know he’s rich as fuck, but that literally doesn’t matter. People were telling me “he doesn’t care if he looks short in an interview because he goes home and sleeps on a bed full of money.” Yes he does. He cares very, very much. Height is truly the great equalizer. No doubt Kevin Hart’s life is infinitely better than the life I have when I dream, but I’m still taller. Don’t care if you’re smarter, better looking, richer, more athletic, whatever. “Yeah, well I’m taller” is the trump card for men.