The Curious Case Of Who Pooped Their Pants At Nick's Riverside Grill
Yelp reviews. Somewhat helpful, but usually a place for people to complain about a waiter taking 2 minutes to fill up their water or their burger coming out with the tomato on it instead of on the side. But sometimes Yelp reviews strike gold, and this is one such time, thanks to the nice little spot called Nick’s Riverside Grill down in Georgetown. It’s a lovely place to eat and if they want to send me giftcards that’d be cool too. But I digress, let’s get on with the show.
Our saga begins when Emma C. left this review on Nick’s Yelp page after a bad experience at happy hour:
I’m sure restaurants get complaints all the time like that. Emma definitely believes that she was charged too much. Whether she was or not, doesn’t really matter for the sake of the argument, because Nick’s Riverside Grill was not having any of Emma C’s shit.
OH NO THEY DI’NT! EMMA C POOPED HER PANTS!
What a fantastic response from Nick’s. But now is when it gets deeper…Emma C claims she is not the pooper in question.
WCP - UPDATE (6/1/16): Emma C. has contacted City Paper to say that she is not the woman in question. “It was merely a coincidence that I was at the bar the same night as this other girl, who I feel bad for since she is also being publicly dragged through the media,” says Emma, who wished not to publicly disclose her full name, in an email. “I just wanted to clarify that I’m just a dissatisfied customer who is now being accused by this establishment of being someone that I’m not, saying some very nasty things about me and also insulting this other girl who could potentially have serious health issues… It’s ridiculous, irresponsible and extremely upsetting.”
Emma adds that she did not see or know the other woman, although people she was with did see her there at the same time.
Now the question here is, why would Emma C, who is basically anonymous, care so much about clearing her name? She deleted the Yelp review, but now is drawing even more attention to it. Would Emma C care so much about clearing her name had she not been the pooper? Or is she worried that no matter where she goes, people will be like “there goes Emma C, pooped her pants at a bar.”? There’s about 10 people in the world who know who Emma C is, but Emma C wants the world to know she wasn’t the Nick’s Riverside Pooper. It’s interesting to say the least.
On the other hand, Emma C is saying she and the pooper were wearing different outfits, it just so happens she was at the bar at the same time.
I have to say though, no matter if Emma pooped herself or not, she kinda deserves this for 1) leaving a Yelp review to begin with, and 2) for still dragging this out. Nobody really cares if she pooped herself. Nobody besides her even knows who she is. But because she had to go ahead and leave a Yelp review, it’s blown up in her face, and I guess you could say the results for that move of hers have been pretty…shitty.
And the real winner here? The girl who actually pooped herself (if it’s not Emma C). That girl is making out like a bandit. Also, kinda bizarre Nick’s didn’t throw out the pooper immediately? That’s the part of the story I’m having the hardest time understanding. If someone poops in your establishment, you have every right to pick them up and punt them into the water like Baxter. If there was anything to leave a negative Yelp review about, it’s the fact some girl shit herself and wasn’t forcefully removed immediately.
Was that girl Emma C? Is there a serial Georgetown bar pooper on the loose? More details as they come in.