Kevin Durant Announces He Will Join The Warriors, Rest Of The NBA Is Fucked
“KEVIN DURANT IS THE FOURTH MAN!!!!”
“NO KEVIN NOOOOOO!!!!”
On the bright side, the Hamptons is a wonderful place to be on the birthday of our nation’s independence and maybe Diddy is having a party
No decision on ESPN. No Great Emoji War. Just an announcement on Derek Jeter’s stupid website.
And just like that, the 2016-17 NBA season is over (at least according to the advanced NBA stats I’ve been reading). Unless the BasedGod has some serious tricks up his sleeve. But even HE is a Warriors fan.
It’s crazy to think that a dick punch has changed the entire course of NBA history like Archduke Ferdinand’s assassination or Biff Tannen stealing Marty McFly’s Gray’s Sports Almanac. But here we are.
And before you feel too bad for the Thunder, just remember that their owners stole the SuperSonics, an exciting group of young players, and these beautiful jerseys from Seattle.
On the bright side for the Currys, this tweet means something completely different now.
Oh wait, EVERYTHING about this news is the bright side for the Currys. And I’m sure Mama Curry is very happy her oldest has some more help. So that’s good.
As for KD, a little advice. You may want to delete this tweet.
Now we just let Derrick Rose play out the year and then leave the Knicks a bunch of cap room for Russell Westbrook. Knicks vs. Warriors in the 2018 NBA Finals with all of America rooting against the evil Warriors. NOW HIT OUR MUSIC!!!
Shit.