Luckiest Man In The World Married 71 Year Old Woman 3 Weeks After Meeting Her...At Her Son's Funeral

Mirror - A 71-year-old woman has married a 17-year-old toyboy just three weeks after meeting him at her son’s funeral.

When grieving pensioner Almeda Errell went to pay her last respects at her son’s funeral, the last thing she expected to find was love. Following a whirlwind three-week romance, she and Gary Hardwick – now 18, and who had previously dated a woman of 77 – tied the knot in a ceremony which he arranged for just £137 in six days.

Later, on their wedding night, they had sex for the first time. “It was wonderful, beyond my wildest dreams,” revealed Gary. “She really is my dream woman and the physical side of our relationship couldn’t be better.” “It was the best ever,” agreed Almeda. “I’d never had a connection like it before.”

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What the fuck, man? Some people have all the luck. This guy goes to a funeral and next thing he knows he has the hottest babe on the block. It’s just not fair. And not just that, if you click and read the whole article, he actually broke up with his 77 year old girlfriend to get with his 71 year old now-wife! This dude Gary Hardwick, biggest swinging dick of all time. I mean look at this. I’m just dripping with peanut butter and jelly

HOT HOT HOT.

Sighhhhh. I mean I’m happy for them, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes it seems like I’m just climbing uphill with a boulder on my shoulders. We’ve already lost 4 out of the 5 oldest ladies in the world this year, and now this guy is swooping in and scooping up the rest of the old broads. We’ll get our comeuppance eventually folks. We’ll get it.