It Took Longer Than Expected, But The DNC In Philly Finally Lit Its First Protester On Fire
There’s just something about being down in the parking lot of the Sports Complex in Philly that brings all the savages out to play. One person catching on fire? Hell, that’s child’s play compared to a Sunday night tailgate for the Birds.
So here’s the thing. I would LOVE to rip on this chick (or dude wearing a dress with long hair because it’s 2016 and I don’t know who is what anymore) for being such a dumbass. Would LOVE to make fun of them relentlessly for being yet another moron protester in Philly this week thinking that they’re actually making any sort of a difference at all. But by all means, this person appears to be a real American hero. Because she is for sure trying to stomp that flag out. Fucking Bernie supporters putting their free money where their mouth is and fighting the anarchist pussies for America. Good on ya. So instead of giving this person the Charlie Kelly “you’re so stupid” treatment, it’s time to break out the Hulkster.
Freedom isn’t free. It costs a hefty fuckin’ fee. And sometimes that fee is putting yourself at risk of catching on fire while trying to stop an American flag from burning to ashes. Nothing but respect for that move, and the only complaint I have is that she didn’t turn it into a kamikaze mission and try to bring that asshole screaming “burn that fucking white capitalist shit the fuck down” with her. There’s nobody in the history of the world that I wish would get caught alone in North Philly at the wrong time more than that dickbag.
Speaking of Charlie Kelly, this was a fantastic call.
Sidenote: The left hates the right. The right hates the left. The anarchists hate capitalism. We’re all at odds with each other but at least we know that in this crazy world of hate, there is at least one thing that can bring us all together. And that is our mutual hatred for Sidney Crosby. MAKE AMERICA HOCKEY AGAIN.
One last P.S. – the Fart-In Against Hillary is still scheduled for tonight. American Politics, baby. There’s nothing like it.