Usain Bolt Has Never Run A Mile In His Life

(Source) — Usain Bolt has run sprints faster than anyone in the world, and he may do it again in the Rio Olympics. But apparently, he has never gone the extra mile ? or any mile, in fact. The New Yorker reports that the Jamaican star has, “in fact, never tried running that far.” “Usain has never run a mile,” his agent, Ricky Simms, told the magazine. Let’s let that sink in for a moment. Not even in grade school? Not even on a dare? Not even to satisfy his own curiosity?

Usain Bolt is one of my favorite dudes of all-time. It started when I read a GQ piece on him after the last Olympics and I realized he was the coolest dude ever. Forgive me if some of these aren’t perfectly accurate, as I’m going from memory, but if I remember correctly he hadn’t run since the Olympics, which had ended months prior, because he was focused on trying to become a DJ. He also didn’t pack anything but some Puma gear and condoms for a trip to Africa. There was also his claim that he ate 100 Chicken McNuggets a day while at the Beijing Olympics. Basically everything the guy does you just nod your head and think, “Yeah, that’s exactly what I would do if I was a freak of nature.”

Now, we’ve got another one to add to the list: he’s never run a mile in his life. Why would he? He’s excellent at running short distances, no need to push that and run for some absurd duration of time, like a mile. Just do what you’re good at. You think Tom Brady ever took some snaps at O-line? Think Wayne Gretzky ever put on the goalie gear for a practice? Fuck no, because they’re the best at what they do. No need to push it. Usain Bolt hates working out, likes fucking, likes eating like shit, and doesn’t do anything more than the bare minimum required of him. I don’t know what’s wrong with you if you can’t respect that.