Taylor Swift Just Swinging Dem New Titties All Over the Joint

Shoutout to the Creep…I see you

Wow. My mind is in a total pretzel. Seriously Taylor Swift is using my brain as a punching bag right now. I’ve always said Taylor Swift is the sexiest unsexy chick in the world. She has worse posture than I do. Looks like that alien that walks by the window in Signs.

Also another hard and fast rule of the Portnoy Life is that I DESPISE fake titties. Hate em like poison. Nothing will ruin a girl for me faster than getting fake tits. Whenever a hot girl gets fake boobs it’s like taking out a white glove and slapping God in the face with it.  Small perky tits and a great ass is the way to my heart.

But having said all that Taylor looks awesome here. Maybe the best I’ve ever seen her look. Legit sex appeal which I thought was impossible for her. Up is down. Down is up. I’m spotting dimes eating onions I don’t know what the fuck is going on.