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University of Missouri Researchers Blinded Beagle Puppies With Acid Then Murdered Them

Dogs And Owners Gather For 2012 Crufts Dog Show
Dan Kitwood/Getty Images

NY DAILY NEWSSix puppies were blinded for a University of Missouri-Columbia study, and then killed after the results were inconclusive.

*12 board members sit down around a gigantic mahogany table in the University of Missouri conference room*

“We’ve made some good progress guys, but we still have people who don’t hate us enough.”

“Seriously? What else could we possibly do?”

PR person sitting in the back corner pipes up.

“I got you.”

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I mean that scenario is the only possible explanation. For one school to get this much bad press, this many times. It’s the only thing that makes sense, that Mizzou is actively trying to sabotage their own school.

In a study published on April 7, four researchers at the university were looking to find the effects of topical hyaluronic acid to heal eye damage in dogs for its pilot study.

After the six beagles — all less than a year old — were purposely blinded in their left eyes, the researchers split them up into two different groups, one that received the acid for treatment, and one that didn’t.

Neither group of the puppies in the experiment recovered from the severe damage to their eye.

All six were killed after the pilot study was over, with the damaged eyes removed and stored for future research.

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I know I know, gotta hear both sides. I always, always give the other side a chance to try and explain things.

The university has defended its study, telling the Daily News that animal research was necessary to find answers to “some of the most important medical questions.”

“Since dogs share similar eye characteristics with people, they are ideal candidates for corneal studies,” Mary Jo Banken, a spokeswoman with the school, said in a statement.

She added that the dogs were “as comfortable as possible” during the tests.

Well thank god! The dogs were made as comfortable as possible to have acid poured into their eyeballs. They were wrapped in the warmest blankets the laboratory had to offer as they felt their corneas melt out onto the bottom of the cage. And, they may not have been able to see it, because of the melted eyeballs thing, but they got to eat the best milkbones in Missouri right before they were murdered.