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Two Bruins, One Cup: Bergy and Marchy Lead Fellow Hosers To World Cup Victory

20 years ago, hockey fans were treated to perhaps the greatest best-on-best tournament ever thanks to the plethora of future Hall of Famers taking part, which resulted in amazing play and a winner-take-all finale for the ages.

In 2036, however, the 2016 iteration of the World Cup of Hockey will not be looked back upon as fondly. The best word to describe that last two weeks for most puckheads: underwhelming, as the Canadians swept the Europeans with a 3-1 win on Tuesday and a thrilling 2-1 clincher last night (“underwhelming” might be a tad unfair because the 50/1 Euros gave the canucks a hell of a series despite the two game sweep). But as a Bruins fan who wasn’t rooting for the maple leaf, it was pretty awesome to see our dynamic duo put on a clinic with Sid Crosby. I mean, goddamn, they were a delight to watch. Bergeron tied the game late after after a home cooking power play.

Then Marchy became a national hero when he whipped a nasty wrist shot past a splendid Jaroslav Halak to give the Great White North the title.

Marchand led the tourney with five goals (5-3–8) and Bergeron’s four put him second (4-3–7). They finished second and third, respectively, to Crosby (3-7–10 in six games) for the most points. Also, the two Bruins showed the world just how great they are at hockey. Bergeron is a two-way dynamo. Marchand is a bona fide goal scoring star. Both are in their prime. Hopefully, this point was hammered home with the front office and they do what they need to do to not waste these peak seasons from these two stars.

Team North America became the most beloved kids in the land since the “Stranger Things” crew but soon ran into their own Demogorgon in the form of the Russian team (if only Matt Murray was pulled after the third goal vs. the artists formerly known as the CCCP when he clearly didn’t have it, who knows what happens after we saw the Euros hang tough with the Canadians). Once the young hoppers got bounced, the tourney got infinitely less exciting. Because they provided more action in one shift than the Americans did the entire tourney.

Holy shit, what a fucking embarrassment Team USA was. They pissed down their leg and didn’t notch a win. But worse than that, they barely competed. There was no desperation or any real cohesion. Everybody who (rightfully) bitched about picking the abrasive Torts to coach over any number of other coaches and then constructing the roster they did was proven right.

Torts made the baffling decision to sit Dustin Byfuglien, perhaps his team’s most dynamic blue line weapon, in their lifeless first game 3-0 loss to Europe as a -500 favorite. He doled out minutes to his best offensive forward, Pat Kane, like he was a bottom six mucker. The two defensemen named Johnson and Johnson had me reaching for Band-Aids for my eyeballs. Their 4-2 loss to Canada wasn’t as close as the score indicated. Then they lost 4-3 to the Czechs to close out their woeful showing.

Torts even made that worse by scratching David Backes in what should have been his last game in a pretty stellar international career. In a game that meant absolutely fucking nothing. That’s just being an asshole, which is why bringing in Torts was a mistake in the first place. But like I’ve said before, politics are as much a part of hockey as ice and an awful stench. Just a shit-show all around for USA Hockey, who needs to take a long look at things.

Thanks to the funky new format and a surprising Team Europe that assumed the Cinderella role that the lads of North America held for a hot minute, the final had no real angle to sell and the ratings suffered greatly for it. Also, hockey twitter (the good part) is a pretty good barometer of who’s watching what and there was definitely a huge indifference about the last two games.

A few more buds for your World Cup bowl…

*Thankfully, there were no major injuries. Because it sucks to lose your star player in off-season tourneys. Yes, you’d rather he blows out his knee in his NHL sweater.

*So much for the idea that merely by being on ESPN, people will magically watch hockey. Because they didn’t. At all. Maybe next time, don’t schedule the fucking games opposite America’s favorite sport. On consecutive days. That’s just dumb. Either have the tourney earlier or don’t compete with football for eyeballs. Day One shit, really. But this is the NHL we’re dealing with here. And way to go interviewing Bettman until the 13:00 mark of the second period as the furious action on the ice went uncalled by Steve Levy. Awesome call again. It’s not like there’s 18 minutes between periods or anything. Jesus Christ, that was infuriating.

*Speaking of Levy, he did his usual solid job of calling a hockey game. And he wasn’t Buccigross. I like Bucci, he’s a good guy and I appreciate his effort. But play-by-play ain’t his bag. He worked the early games and improved since we last heard him but frankly, I was glad he wasn’t given the major games. It sucks they can’t wrangle Gary Thorne away from the Os for a stretch because he the best hockey play by play guy on the planet.

*Hull and Chelios? Cranky, old, and hilarious. Like these two legends…

*Big Z scored the lone Euro goal last night meaning that all three goals were scored by Bruins. Aside from an ugly pickpocketing Tuesday night, Chara looked alright out there Hopefully, that’ll carry over into his Bruins season.

*Dennis Seidenberg played top pair minutes and found himself a job for this season, signing a one-year/$1M deal with the Islanders. He’ll be reunited with fellow ’11 Cup winner Johnny Boychuk. It’s clear that Seidenberg still has something in the tank and being bought out likely fired up the fiercely proud German. The Isles will certainly get their million worth. And then some. Good luck to the stand up guy that Seids always was here in Boston. Also, this gave me the feels…

*Love him or hate him, you really have to appreciate what Crosby does night in and night out. Just an amazing player. And considering he just played well into June, it’s incredible how awesome and energized he was during the tourney. I’m sure I’ll be cursing him soon enough but I’ll be appreciating him at the same time.

*Leah Hextall threw shade when she interviewed the Euros.

*Overall grade for the 2016 World Cup of Hockey: B-. It’s not as bad as people are making it out to be. We still saw some pretty decent hockey by the best players on the planet. And there’s no way we can give it anything near a C after those three games with the sick North American squad. The future is bright for the NHL for a long, long time.

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