Why I'm Wearing My Ben Roethlisberger Jersey To The Women's March

thats me on the left, chicas

Hola Besties,

Donald Trump is getting elected President tomorrow. This is a fact and nothing that you do as a protestor will change it. If people were smart they would cheer and boo and have rallies for a contest that they still have the opportunty to change, a good example would be like attending the NFL draft. But no, these protestors are going to waste there breath and add a bunch of CO2 to the atmosphere and contribute to the global warming that they claim to hate (and which also isnt real) and selfishly destroy the earth that I care about recentley. Meanwhile Im going to be out there demonstrating my support for a contest that I actually have the change to effect- the AFC championship game.

Some of you might say “but your not really a woman- your just kind of overweight and it makes you look like you have boobs.” and to them Id just respond with “Its 2016 and if I want to identify as a woman in order to be able to get away with saying things that I coudnt as a man, thats my right.” And as a woman I say its time for my fellow bitches to get over Trump when there are much bigger issues out there like supporting our good allies like Big Ben. Tom Brady has approprated our female culture by wearing Uggs and trying to get away with cheating for to long. Its offensive. Rothlisberger on the other hand is a wonderful QB, leader, and a even better man. Plus Brady isnt even cute he was so much better looking when he had long hair I love guys with long hair. Short guys too, am I right gals?

While Brady is exploiting women without a voice, Big Ben is protecting them. As a survivor of two sexual assault accusations, Ben knows more then most what it feels like to be silenced. Perhaps the only demographic thats more oppressed then White Men are White Men Who Have Been Accused Of Sexual Assault. Kind of funny how there’s a BET but if you tried to make a WMWHBAOSAET there would be a doublestandard outrage. And a lawsuit from SpikeTV for copying their programming.

Sorry if this offends but at Saturdays rallies, instead of protesting Trump because he likes to joke about giving advice about grabbing our pussys, lets support Big Ben who has stopped thousands of potential sexual assaults by locking himself inside his house & not attacking women for the past 4 years. Hate to use the word “hero”, but if the shoe fits, wear it. And if the jersey fits put that on too.

XOXOXOXO see you hussies later,

Marlins Woman