NFL Network's Kyle Brandt Went To Town On "Lax Bros" On Some Show That People Watch I Guess
Kyle Brandt managed to get the lacrosse community’s collective pastel undies in a bunch yesterday with this video. People bitching about stereotypes. People bitching about how the “lax bro” culture has brought such a bad rap to the game. But let me tell you something right now. He’s not wrong. I’ve been involved in the lacrosse community since I was 9 years old. I’m 24 now. Somebody do the math for me on that because I’m too busy jamming out to some OAR to use a calculator myself. Got it? Thanks. Okay, yeah, 15 years of lacrosse and everything he said here is on the money (at least for East Coast lacrosse. Obviously the Canadians playing box are a different breed and who knows what the hell lacrosse players out west are like). You bet your sweet ass I’m constantly talking about EMO sets. You bet your sweet ass I’m gonna rip on FoGo’s for always having the ugliest spoons on the planet. I’ve seen many a girlfriends named Taylor. Golden Retrievers named Scout? What’s there not to love about that. Summering on the Cape? Sorry for being affluent. Sure, there’s more to lacrosse than just the “lax bro”, but that doesn’t mean he’s wrong. He’s actually so spot on, in fact, that I’m pretty sure we have a closet Lax Bro on our hands here with Kyle Brandt.
He went to Princeton to play football which tells me two things. 1) He sucks at football. And 2) The Lax Bro gene is in his blood. He can deflect all he wants with these jokes. But as the old saying goes, “it takes one to know one”. He’s a bougie bitch just like the rest of us. And what I don’t understand here is what’s so wrong with any of the things he said. Why does it piss lacrosse people off so much when people start talking about the “lax bro”? All they do is make fun of how much money your family has, how well you dress, how good your taste in music is, and how much you love laxin’ it up with the boys. Sorry for having a great life, Dick. Maybe you should try it sometime.
So like I said. I have no problem with this video at all. Is it a blatant rip off of “The Ultimate Lax Bro”? Absolutely. But he’s a football guy whose brain doesn’t work too well so we’ll give him a pass. But while we’re on stereotypes, I just want to say I’m very much looking forward to the “Football Dude” remake of this. The one where you get arrested for beating your wife/girlfriend but it’s all good because if you’re talented enough, NFL teams will still line up to sign you. The one where you end up being broke 5 years after retiring because nobody taught you how to properly invest your money. The one where your brain turns into a bowl of mashed potatoes and nobody taught you how to succeed in life after football because they don’t actually care about you as a person, but only you as a football player. You know? The ultimate Football Dude. Stereotypes are funny.
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