Who Is Really The Main Character Of Entourage? Let's Divulge
Every night once my dinner is digested and my eyes get sleepy I have to throw something on my TV in anticipation of my slumber. Darkness and the silence don’t mix with me. This method is how I became the best Friends trivia player in France. Lots of TV man hours.
I recently began my 13th or so brigade on one of my favorite shows of all-time, Entourage. On the exterior it’s pretty clear that the show is centered around Vince, yet every time Jane’s Addiction starts blaring I see Kevin Connolly’s name in fluorescent lights before that of Adrian Grenier. So I took my talents to Twitter to see what the stoolies thought. I got a bunch of tweets saying Ari is actually the main character. I’ll admit the most powerful man in Hollywood flew right over my head when creating the poll so he’ll be included in this. No excuses there. I do think there’s a case for all 3 of them (with one clear answer) so let’s dive in.
Vincent Chase
Vince seems to be the main character at first glance. He has the good looks, the big head, and is the group’s main source of dinero thanks to him being the movie star that makes the show rumble, bumble, and stumble. Without Vince there is most certainly no E. Ari would still be grinding, but without his golden boy. Who wants an Ari with no Vince? Might as well be a Chicago Dog with no poppy seed bun. As I just typed that out an Ari Gold spin-off popped in my head though. It’s basically a rip-off of Better Call Saul, but with Ari Gold’s everyday life highlighting his ventures with other clients. I’m gonna add that to the top of my ideas list along with clothed strip clubs and fat-only gyms. Those will be explained at a later time.
All 8 seasons follow Vince’s ups and downs of being a movie star. One second he’s beating out the Webslinger in the box office and the next he’s in the middle of a desert eating shrooms in order to decide whether or not to do a Benji movie. I’ve never dabbled in shrooms but I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t need them to decide against doing Benji. Season 7’s antics also make it quite hard to argue against Vince being the main character as nearly the whole season resolves around his person life. We’re hit with the classic case of a devil’s dandruff addiction, a relationship with a porn star, and a fistfight with one Marshall Mathers.
Adrian Grenier also recently tweeted about stopping the use of plastic straws so I’m taking him out of the running. The environment and shit is cool, but there’s nothing that’s stopping me from sucking down a cool fountain soda with the help of a plastic straw.
Ari Gold
Ahhhhhh Ari Gold. The King of Hollywood. Super agent, Philanthropist, Author, Bobby Flay hater, Paintball Gun enthusiast, Harvard Grad, former boss of Josh Weinstein (pussy), and husband to Mrs. Ari. Most importantly, he’s also the only man that could somewhat contend with Johnnie Drama in terms of comedy so here are some Ari Gold quotes to lighten up your Wednesday.
- “I want you to pass this message along to Dana. Tell her that I still have the pictures from Cancun. Tell her that I’m going to start a web site. I’ll take a full page ad out in the L.A. Times advertising it. Tell her it will be called imahollywoodexecutivewhore.com and that no password or fee will be required. Tell her I want a fucking call back!”
- “Fuck the phones, Lloyd! Unless Carmen Electra calls for an emergency tittie fuck, don’t answer!”
- “I didn’t go to the Lakers game because they were playing the fucking Bobcats. And I came here today because I thought this was a session on how my wife could learn to communicate — how to answer a question without a question. Basic Humanity 101, which I thought, given your wall of fucking diplomas, you could easily fix. Or if you couldn’t, you could give her a pill that would either fix it or make her a mute. But now, to turn around and gang up on me? I have work to do. I have hundreds of clients to deal with, and just so we’re clear, I don’t care about any of them. They’re all just a number, like wife #1 and therapist #7! Good day!”
- “You little fucking slut Lloyd!”
- “When you get married you realize that a wife is like a herpes source. She comes and goes when and where she pleases.”
I would be very interested to know where those poll numbers would have gone if Ari was on there. Ari Gold deserves a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. He may be fictional but I don’t really give a fuck. He’s based off a real dude and I’m willing to make the fucking stone with my own hands (if someone teaches me how).
The top concern for Ari is that the poll would have been misconstrued for “favorite” character instead of “main” character. I don’t think there’s any logical way he’s the main character as opposed to just an extremely likable character with a lot of screen time.
My main argument for Ari not being #1 is his role in Season 1. It seems as if he was originally written to be that of a major secondary character. By looking at the IMdB episode plot synopsis’ I’m not sure if Ari had 1 individual plot line in the whole first season. No bueno. Someone not meant to be the main character can’t wind up being the main character when it’s all said and done. That’d sound like a whole bunch of fake news.
E
I will be prefacing this portion of the blog by saying I hate E. He’s the most boring character on the show and his frequent use of Yankees and Islanders apparel doesn’t sit well with me. And he gets to fuck Sloan therefore I’m peanut butter and jealous.
Who wants to like a guy that was hesitant to buckle down and hop all over this?
And this
And this
The answer is no one. Fuck E. Guy suuuuuuucks. Daniel Day-Lewis has made me laugh more in my lifetime.
Yet on an Unbiased opinion, he is my choice for the main character. E has top billing, he is one half of the Entourage’s top romantic relationship, we get some individual story lines while he’s on his tangent to become a legit Hollywood manager with guys like Charlie and Scott Lavin, and the show’s last scene features E and Sloan getting back together again like mother fucking clockwork. As much as it pain’s me to say this, Eric Murphy is the main character of Entourage.
So far in the office I have Trent on Team E with me, Robbie Fox on Team Vince, and Coley on Team Ari. This is priority business so feel free to Tweet or DM me your arguments on who you think should be the top dog for shits n gigs. Doug Ellin blocked my ass on Instagram like 2 years ago so if anyone else has any other way to contact him that’d be great. It would be beneficial for us all to stick a fork in this bad boy and figure this shit out.