The Suns' Devin Booker Has A 70 Point Game And A Massive Dick Like A Poland Spring Bottle According To An Instagram Chick
MTO – MediaTakeOut.com spoke with a very popular INSTAGRAM thottie – who gave us a D*CK REPORT on the NBA star – and it had us speechless. Here’s what she said:
MTO I have some tea for you. Devin Booker has a massive d*ck. I mean massive, I’ve never seen anything like it.
We met a few months ago when he was in my DMs and we finally connected when he came to [NAME OF CITY REDACTED]
He warned me that he was big before we got back to his room, but I had no idea. The thing is 14 inches and as thick as a poland spring.
We tried to put it in, but it couldn’t fit. Not in my mouth, not in my p*ssy nowhere. I felt bad so I ended up [using her hand].
He seemed embarrassed by the size of it. Normally I would say a big d*ck is a blessing. But in his case, I think it’s a curse.
Mediatakeout also submitted this photo as proof of said monster hog going back and to the left like in the Zapruder film:
As you may have noticed between Pat McAfee reporting on Marshawn Lynch at the Raiders’ facility, PMT breaking some Curt Schilling news with Theo Epstein, and Viceroys reporting on NBA Draft news, it’s clear that Barstool is all about journalism. And though I’m better known for putting enticing headlines on outrageous content, I went to journalism school at USC. I know my way around a little something I like to call the R word: Reporting. So I dug deep, rang up some sources, chased the story I knew I was born to tell…the tale of Devin Booker’s monster hog that won’t fit in a lady’s singular orifice.
Devin Booker trying to explain the size of his dick to a fan in the fourth row:
When Devin Booker’s dick accidentally jabs you during a game:
Here Devin Booker is showing off the hand and tongue positioning that he prefers to jerk himself off with:
Kobe Bryant enthused to meet the biggest dick he’s been on a court with since Shaq:
The signs all seem to be there. And in the name of journalism, I’m going to go with my gut and say that yes this is 100% credible and yes Devin Booker has the kind of dick that you could club someone to death with in a pinch. It may make it hard to get inside less ambitious Instagram vaginas but I can bet after this story goes viral, there will be a whole lot of brave gals out there willing to try. Between this and Kevin Durant saying on Simmons’ podcast that he might have been into staying in Oklahoma City if they got Devin Booker, it’s a big week for this dude and his big, faint-inducing dick. Congrats on a great year Devin.
And whether he’s embarrassed or not with these kind of headlines, it’s time to celebrate. Not unlike when he put up 70 versus the Celtics and lost, I’d say having a gimundo dick and not getting it in with an Instagram groupie deserves a similar post to social media:
