HUGE Trouble In Foxboro: Patriots Don't Know Where To Put Their Fifth Banner

FOXBOROUGH, Mass. — Quick-hit thoughts and notes around the New England Patriots and NFL:

1. When the Patriots opened Gillette Stadium in 2002, the idea that they would one day have to explore design plans to create space for four additional Super Bowl banners would have been welcomed. Just 15 years later, that time has arrived. The thought struck me upon leaving the stadium one day last week, looking up at the south end zone, and seeing the four Super Bowl banners hanging: There’s no space for the fifth Super Bowl LI banner in that area.

This is the definition of what owner Robert Kraft calls a “high-class problem” to have. When this was mentioned, it was relayed that the club is considering design plans on how to proceed with the fifth Super Bowl banner. It also enlightened me to some significant renovations the Kraft family had made two years ago to commemorate the Super Bowl XLIX championship inside Gillette Stadium, specifically in the area where players enter the facility, the main lobby area, and inside the team’s Hall of Fame. Just as those renovations were completed, they’ll now need to be updated again.

I often have people tell me how good I’ve got it as a sports fan. Day in and day out I field calls and text from people like my dad, who tell me to enjoy it because he remember the bad times, and people like KFC, who tell me to go fuck myself because they know nothing but sadness, but a story like this reminds you that not everything is Skittles and sunshine in New England. We also endure hardships.

Anyone else ever lost sleep about where your team is going to put its fifth Super Bowl banner? I didn’t think so. I’m already tossing and turning, worrying about Robert Kraft’s pockets and the concern he’ll have as he looks over blueprints for renovation plans for the Gillette Stadium trophy case. Do they need to build an entirely new stadium just to house all the banners and accolades? It’s possible, my friends. It’s very possible.

As Kraft claimed it’s a “high class problem,” which is something we’re familiar with in New England, but high class problems are still problems. It’s like inviting your poor friend over to your house and feeling that stink eye as you debate whether you’re in the mood to play PlayStation, Xbox, or go swimming in the pool. He doesn’t think it’s a problem but he doesn’t know the stress that comes over you while weighing all your options. So please, don’t drown me in your “Boston fans have it so good and they don’t appreciate it” takes anymore, we officially know what it’s like dealing with tough sports problems.