Nokia Cellphones Are Still Pleasuring Privates Half A Globe Away

Seems some Indians love the old Nokia 3310 and a few other old Nokia phones so much that they make love to them. Literally. The Nokia 3310, known well for its durability and rather extra strong vibrations whenever it would ring, seem to be still popular among some users who make use of it as a sex toy. They apparently use the Nokia phones as vibrators, probably also because good vibrators are likely difficult to find in a country like India where sex toys are still a taboo.

According to a website called Agents of Ishq, which recently surveyed 100 Indian women to find out their sexual behaviour and practices, Nokia phones found a surprising mention whenever the women talked about masturbation. When the women were asked how they masturbated a number of them apparently pointed towards a Nokia phone from the era when the company was ruling the phone market.

“So, vibrators and sex toys…. But this pageant had a surprise winner – the old Nokia vibrating phone made several appearances on this survey! We have no idea why that company is not the market leader after this,” notes the Ishq website.

Makes sense to me. If a woman’s purse is anything like my kitchen counter, there simply isnt enough room for all the gadgets. You have a little room for a blender, mixer, and knife set but you dont want your counter to appear cluttered. The same thing for a purse, I’d imagine.

If you can have a cell phone that could put a good ole fashioned hurting on your clitoris, why would you opt for a lesser product? If I could make my iPhone a pocket vagina (again showing my commitment to never write ‘pussy’ on this website. It’s hard but I have a pretty extensive vocabulary so I can do it) you better believe I would. I have less room in my pockets than a lady does in her purse and you never know when you’ll want to pleasure yourself in the bathroom of a TJ Maxx.

There is a downside, though. I know it’s hard to believe but there is. Masturbation shame. When you whip out your old Nokia, people know that you pleasure yourself. They read this blog, too. They know that you are sitting somewhere in India and trying to win a beauty pagent and talkin about playing with your coochie. Unbecoming.