Guy With Machete Vs. Guy With Garbage Can. Who Ya Got?

You know how the first episode of Breaking Bad opens up with Walt driving a RV in his underwear while wearing a gas mask with a bunch of people passed out and you have no idea how the fuck things escalated to that? That’s what this video is like. It grabs you from the jump because we have a guy with a garbage can and a guy with a machete about to throw down, but we have no clue what escalated things other than a parked car, a knocked over garbage can, and a hot weather that turns everyone in the city into a certified maniac.

Anyway, it has to be said that White Shirt Guy is the worst fighter in the history of the planet. Bringing a knife a gun fight is bad. But bringing a knife to a garbage can fight is actually good. It’s like having the high ground in a fight. I thought we were about to witness a surgeon with a machete by the way he banged it on the street. But instead of using the knife like anyone with a brain would, he threw the knife which would only be acceptable if this was a video game and he hit the wrong button. It turns out WSG is all show and no balls. Or maybe the knife broke because he banged it on the ground like a dickhead. I don’t know.

And to continue the video game analogy, our white shirted friend clearly has never played Grand Theft Auto because anyone that has knows a car is the ultimate trump card in a fight. Fuck a garbage can, a knife, or a gun. This jabronie had a legitimate murder machine (with likely very good gas mileage) at his dispsal and he squandered it to engage in hand-to-hand combat with the dude that likely gave him the very bloody raspberry on his head. Then again, anyone who can’t lock their car door from an attacker to instead start a soda fight may not have all his dogs barking. Also I don’t know what that chick was saying, but you have to chill out once you realize your boyfriend has the street sense of a pebble.

Can’t wait to see what fights and weirdos emerge from the diabolical combination of this shitty weather + this shitty city today.

h/t Derek