Play Ball! North Carolina's Mascot Rams His Testicles Down Our Throats

I’m not often taken aback at the size of a ram’s testicles but I am absolutely taken aback at the size of this ram’s testicles. In terms of nut talk, I’m very versed. I’d like to think that I’m the Hunter S Thompson of talkin cock and whathaveyou but I am nearly speechless. Proseless even. How. Why. Is this normal? I’m not sure. Do rams have the biggest ball bags in the land? How do rams run wild in the wild if they’re constantly playing tetherball with their balls? Do they play hacky sack with their testicles? Does low hanging fruit cause the lady rams to get moist in their britches? I hope not. With all that wool that sheep wear, a female sheep is likely to get a yeast infection. Without veterinarian care, we could have quite a yeasty situation on our hands.

Can you imagine what Justin Verlander would do with those testicles? Poor Kate’s back would look like a god damn toaster’s strudle while he rams his way through the playoffs with a sub 1.00 era. Incredible.

“Come on, Chaps. You know that the size of the testicles does not influence the amount of semen or jizz that is produced.”

Just tryin to have a little fun on a Saturday night, fellas.