Gronk Wears Suits That He Got At A Shoot For A Tide (?) Commercial To Games

Fucking Gronk, man. You think all those reports about him never spending a single dollar of his NFL money are exaggerated? Try again. He doesn’t even buy his own goddamn suits! He wears prop clothes to NFL games. He’s on a team with guys like Brady, Edelman, Amendola, etc. Guys who treat an NFL tunnel like it’s a runway in Milan. If that was me I’d feel the pressure to measure up and to get fashion game on point, I’d be spending hundred of thousands of dollars at tailors and all kinds of bullshit just to feel like I fit in.

Rob Gronkowski feels no such pressure. What am I wearing today? Oh, uh, some suit they gave me for a Tide commercial (I couldn’t tell if he said tie or Tide, but I don’t think Gronk does tie commercials so I took a guess) and a sweatshirt under it. This suit isn’t even off the rack! It’s off the “a stylist saw a picture of me and guessed my size and uhhhh… it’s pretty close! Not too tight/properly fitting so it’s perfect. Match this with a nice $30 sweatshirt from Costco and I’m ready to rock, baby!”

A lot of kids wear the suit they got for Gramps’ funeral to their first job interview then they buy their own. Robert Gronkowski is no longer a kid but that’s the beauty of it, he’ll always be a kid. He’ll get home, take that suit off as fast as possible, throw it on the floor, put on some basketball shorts, then play video games and drink Monster energy drinks all night. Gronk might actually be just a bunch of kids piled on top of each other to create a human and his suit does nothing to deny that theory. Or perhaps it’s a Dwight Schrute situation where his mom was supposed to be an Octomom but all the kids just kinda mashed together and now they’re the size of an adult. I don’t know, all I know is this guy right here cracks me up.