UPDATE: How To Handle Being A Philly Sports Fan Right Now
The other day I wrote a blog titled “How To Handle Being A Philly Sports Fan Right Now” talking about how great it is to be us. The Eagles moved to 6-1. The Flyers had just beaten McDavid and the Oilers. The Sixers got their 1st win with Joel Embiid scoring 30 points and Ben Simmons recording his first career triple-double. Life was good. Life was great. But that was all 48 hours ago. Let’s talk about what has happened in Philadelphia since publishing that blog.
Well for starters, the Eagles found out that both Jason Peters AND Jordan Hicks will be out for the remainder of the season. Lane Johnson is going to be staying at RT for now which means Big V will stay on Carson’s blindside and that’s some straight up spooky shit to think about this Halloween season.
Next up, the Flyers got absolutely TROUNCED 6-2 at home on Tuesday night against the Ducks. I thought we’d lose Nolan Patrick in the process to a concussion but he seems fine for now. But still. That was an ugly ugly ugly game after the Flyers scored the game’s opening goal.
Then we found out that Markelle Fultz will be missing at least 3 games but probably a few more do to shoulder soreness. We also found out that the shoulder soreness is the cause of his broke ass free throw shot or the other way around, nobody really knows but it’s just a giant mess. Why was he playing in the first place if the team knew his shoulder was this fucked up? It’s not like the Sixers not playing a #1 overall pick to start the season is unprecedented or anything. And then to top it all off, this happened last night.
So to recap: 2 major season-ending injuries for the Eagles. The Flyers got their dicks kicked in. An injury for the Sixers and a balls-crushing buzzer beating 3 from the Rockets to lose in epic fashion last night. It’s like they always say, “if you like the way things are going with Philly sports teams, just wait 5 minutes”.
So what now? Well now it’s time to overreact. Now it’s time to call in to the radio stations and demand the Sixers trade Embiid. Demand that the Eagles get rid of Carson Wentz so we can bring in more offensive tackles and linebackers. The Flyers? Well clearly Giroux needs the “C” ripped off of his jersey right away and it needs to go to Simmonds. It’s only October and our pets heads are falling off.
So for now I’m just going to go to Wawa and order me about a dozen Gobbler sandwiches. I’m gonna pick me up a 24 of Yeungling and I’m going to lay down on the tracks of the Broad Street Line. The only thing that can take me out of this misery is sweet, sweet death by SEPTA.
Update on the update to come probably on Monday after the Flyers and Sixers win their Saturday games and the Eagles win on Sunday.