Dale Jr Was Given A Horse Named Sarah Jessica Parker As A Retirement Gift

Sarah. Jessica. Parker. They named the horse Sarah Jessica Parker. In today’s day and age, I don’t know what I can or cannot say, but I want to reiterate that they, not me, named the horse Sarah Jessica Parker. I suppose this guy

is just a big Sex And The City fan. Omg he’s such a Carrie! (Dale Jr is more of a Charlotte, obviously.)

But also, who wants a freakin’ HORSE as a gift? You know how hard it is to take care of a horse? Seems borderline impossible. Like, here’s a horse, enjoying paying $5k a year to keep it alive.

When someone gives you a freaking animal that you didn’t ask for and it’s not a cute adorable puppy:

Maybe next time just stroke a check to his foundation or something. You don’t have to bring Sarah Jessica Parker (the horse) into the mix.